FADE IN: INT, DOG POUND
ETHEL
Fred, why in heaven's name would you turn loose all those dogs?
FRED
Listen Ethel. When you figure out how to come up with the
geeters necessary to feed 400 dogs twice a day then we'll keep all
these dogs. But, until you do, they're gone!
ETHEL
You cheapskate! Your uncle left this pound to you to be able to care for
all these cute dogs and what do you do but give hundreds of them the
heave ho in the first week. It's awful. You're uncle would not like
it, not like it at all!
FRED
Ethel, when Uncle Mike sends me a check to cover the dog food bill
then Uncle Mike can call the shots. But, until he does, we ain't keeping
so many.
ETHEL
Well, I just hope the authorities are as tight as you are and will
understand your point of view.
FRED
Why would they ever become involved?
ETHEL
You think the fact that suddenly several hundred stray dogs are seen
roaming the neighborhood streets isn't going to raise a flag or two
to the people living there?
FRED
You might be right. We've got to do something!
ETHEL
What do you mean we?! You turned them loose!
THE PHONE RINGS.
FRED
(answering the phone)
Hello? Yes, this is the dog pound. Ah, no, I don't know anything about
a pack of mutts roaming around. Ok, bye.
ETHEL
Let me guess. The city authorities?
FRED
ETHEL
FRED
The city enforcer. You know, that big guy who they send over to
muscle people into seeing their viewpoint on things? I've heard some
horror stories.
ETHEL
He wouldn't come over and beat up an old goat like you would he?
FRED
I'll tell you one thing. This old goat's not going to find out!
(Fred begins packing up)
ETHEL
FRED
What does it look like I'm doing? I'm scramming.
ETHEL
You can't just leave! Who's going to care for the rest of the dogs?
FRED HEADS IN THE BACK OF THE BUILDING AND BEGINS OPENING CAGES ALLOWING THE REMAINDER OF THE DOGS TO RUN FREE.
FRED
(holding open the front door)
HERE BOYS! COME ON! HEEEERE POOCHES!
ETHEL
Fred! The enforcer will get you for this!
FRED
He'll get me if he can find me!
ETHEL
FRED
Ethel, I'm going to Rio until the heat's off. Take care of the
apartment building for me, will you? All you have to do is
collect the rent once a month. Forget fixing anything. That's
what I do. Or don't do, heh, heh!
ETHEL
But, Fred. Where will you stay down there?
FRED
Oh, I've got contacts there. I think Debbi's still around running her
bikini shop.
ETHEL
Fred, you behave! Remember, you're married!
FRED
Believe me, I can't forget I'm married to you.
(to himself)
ETHEL
FRED
I said I really like you.
ETHEL
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