Ricky, have you noticed Ethel and Fred acting kind of strange lately?

RICKY IS ABSORBED IN THE MORNING PAPER.

Ricky!

RICKY LOWERS THE PAPER TO SEE LUCY.

What?

Ricky, I said, have you noticed Ethel and Fred acting kind of strange lately?

No.

RICKY RAISES THE PAPER AND CONTINUES READING.

Ricky, listen to me!

LUCY GRABS THE PAPER AND BALLS IT UP AND THROWS IT ON THE FLOOR.

What are you doing? Are you crazy or something?

Ricky, listen. I saw Ethel with some kind of microphone clamped to her collar the other day. She was asking all kind of questions about where you were born, who your parents were and stuff like that.

So what, honey. I'm sure it's nothing. Unless ... Unless Ethel may be some kind of foreign spy!

RICKY IS PUTTING LUCY ON, KNOWING HOW GULLIBLE SHE IS WHEN A GOOD RUMOR COMES ALONG.

No!! Do you think so?! I can't believe it!

RICKY IS AMUSED TO SEE HOW QUICKLY THE SEED GREW AND BLOSSOMED. HE CONTINUES TO EGG HER ON.

Why don't we ask them up for supper tonight and try to find out if they are really spies or not!

Oh, good idea. But how are we going to find that out? We can't just ask them.

RICKY APPLIES THE ICING NOW.

Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something dear!

RICKY RUNS INTO FRED A FEW MINUTES LATER AND FILLS HIM IN ON THE JOKE AND TELLS HIM TO TELL ETHEL TO PLAY ALONG TOO.

LATER THAT DAY, LUCY PHONES ETHEL.

Hello, Ethel? Ricky and I would like you and Fred to come up and eat with us tonight. Can you come?

You've got to monitor what kind of transmission?

Oh, I see. Well, maybe tomorrow night. What about then?

Oh, good! We'll see you at 6. Bye.

RICKY WALKS IN ON THE TAIL END OF THE CALL.

Who is that, Lucy?

It was Ethel. They can't come up tonight. They have to listen to the radio! What a flimsy excuse! They're probably down there figuring out how to do more spying on us! They're coming up tomorrow night.

(Ricky is fighting back laughter)

Okay, honey. I'll see you tonight. Don't forget to take Little Ricky to get wormed today.

Oh, gee! I'm glad you reminded me. I had forgotten. I better get dressed. But what about our apartment while we're gone?

What are you talking about?

LITTLE RICKY WANDERS IN THE ROOM.

You know, with the S-P-I-E-S around here?

Honey, dun't be ridiculous!

Dun't?

Hey, I've had it with your making fun of my accent! Either you cut it out or I'll, I'll, ..

You'll what?

I'll do something! You can count on it!

RICKY LEAVES FOR WORK.

Little Ricky, do you want some breakfast?

LITTLE RICKY NODS 'YES'.

LUCY HAPPENS TO GLANCE UP AT THE CLOCK TO SEE THAT THERE IS NO TIME FOR EATING; THEY'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE WORMING.

Oh, Little Ricky, we don't have time for eating! We have to go get dressed. We have to take a little trip.

ETHEL HAS COME UP AND IS HOLLERING FROM THE KITCHEN TO FIND LUCY.

Here I am, Ethel. In Little Ricky's room.

Oh hi Lucy. Hi Little Ricky. Are you two headed down to the worming?

A LOOK OF PANIC COMES OVER LITTLE RICKY.

Thanks a lot Ethel! Little Ricky didn't even know about this worming thing until now!

Sorry Lucy. I just thought you and Ricky had been up-front with the kid. If you had been truthful, this wouldn't have happened.

ETHEL IS FOOLING AROUND WITH A LITTLE BLACK THING ON HER DRESS. LUCY SUSPECTS MORE SPYING.

Ah, Ethel, come here a second, will you?

ETHEL KNOWS WHAT LUCY SUSPECTS SO SHE PLAYS ALONG. SHE WALKS OVER TO LUCY AND TRIES TO CALL ATTENTION TO THE "MIKE" BY TILTING HER RIGHT SHOULDER TOWARD LUCY AS IF TO BE TRYING TO PICKUP THE AUDIO BETTER.

Ethel, are you and Fred keeping anything from us?

You mean like the knowledge that we have discovered that this whole building is filled with fibrous asbestos?

No, I mean like that you two are some kind of spies?

(Ethel is laughing)

Lucy, I have to tell you something. Ricky planted that silly notion in your head and told us to play along. He said -

Oh my gosh Ethel, look at the time! The worming! We're going to be late for the worming! Here, help me get him dressed, and I'll run get myself dressed.

LITTLE RICKY, SENSING THE URGENCY OF MAKING THE WORMING APPOINTMENT AND DEDUCING THAT HIS CASE OF PARASITIC INFESTATION MUST NOT BE INCONSEQUENTIAL, BEGINS TO WAIL OFFENSIVELY.

Oh, Little Ricky, don't cry. The nice doctor will give you a sucker if you are good. And besides, a worming isn't so bad. I guess.

THE PHONE RINGS.

Oh hello doctor.

What?

The appointment is cancelled? But why?

Oh, I see.

Okay, thank you.

LUCY GOES TO TELL ETHEL ABOUT THE CANCELLATION.

Ethel, the doctor's office just called. The worming is off. It seems they have found that their office was bugged! They suspect spies!

(Ethel laughs nervously)

Ah, well, I've got to go now.

Hold it Ethel. You come back over here. What's going on? What do you know?

Well ...

Ethel?! ...

Well, okay. Ricky said he was tired of you outdoing him on every scheme that comes along, so he contrived this spy thing to hit you with to really show you up. He's even got Little Ricky's doctor in on it. But I think that he's carried this thing too far, personally.

What do you mean?

I mean, Little Ricky really does have worms. And now, who's going to deal with them?

I'll show that husband of mine! Ethel go get the jar of Blair's 16 Million Reserve sauce up in the cabinet. The one with the sixteen X's on it. Quick! I'll show him. I'll cure the worms myself and just keep the money Ricky gave me to pay the doctor with.

ETHEL RETURNS WITH A GALLON JAR OF THE SAUCE.

Here Lucy. What are you going to do with it?

LUCY GRABS LITTLE RICKY AND PRIES HIS MOUTH OPEN.

Let's just say that Ricky's buying me a new dress!