CRF

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES

"Say What!"

FADE IN: EXT. CLAMPETT SHACK, DAY

JETHRO COMES IN THE SHACK OF A HOUSE THE CLAMPETTS NOW LIVE IN TO REPORT HIS INABILITY TO FIND AN ADEQUATE LOAD OF WOOD FOR GRANIE'S FIRE.

JETHRO

Yo, cracker, it be a monsta out there! Ain't no scraps nowhere in the project to make no fire.

JED

Wellllll, doggies! Would you listen to Jethro! Jethro, what are you saying?

JETHRO

Lemme ax you something. You be comin' to help me, bro?

JED

What? I can't tell what you're saying? Speak English!

JETHRO

I be speakin English, honky! You a dumb turkey or something?

GRANNIE HAS WANDERED UP AND IS LISTENING.

GRANNIE

I think the boy has come to his senses now, Jed. I heard him ask for some turkey.

JETHRO

Come on, girl! You be jivin' me too long! Both you be helpin' me, right?

GRANNIE

Why you smart alec little hillbilly-cum-slum-resident! I oughta bus' you in the head! I sho' be mad!

JETHRO

I bleeve you got it, mama. You an me be bad!

JED SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF THAT HE STAYED ON WITH THE SHOW LONG ENOUGH FOR IT TO COME TO THIS.