But, Fred, if we cut the hamburger mix with this ground-up paper, as you suggest, we'll be on the hook for the maintenance for the paper grinder. That is one expensive thing to have repaired, I'm told.

Yes, but Ward you must realize that if we don't go all-in for the grinder we'll be undercut by those guys across town who are mixing their meat with other celulose products - sawdust, softened pasteboard, and the like. I see no other way to reach that sweet land of high profits that we are seeking.

JUNE WALKS IN ON THE BOYS ON THE TAIL END OF THEIR CONVERSATION

Hi Fred. Dear. You boys got it figured out yet?

Hi, Mrs. C. I believe we are closing in on things here. By the way, June, do you have any experience washing dishes?

JUNE JUST TURNS AND STARES AT FRED

Fred, our dinner plates don't wash themselves!

(Men yuk it up)

Why, what are you thinking about?

Well, we do have that nasty little potential debt of a high-powered dishwashing machine to deal with that dried grease. I was just thinking that if June needed a few extra hogs to augment her allowance, she may enjoy using her skills for minimum wage in our kitchen.

(in whisper)

Fred. Keep it down with that stuff. I'm already on the hook for a used Imperial.

JUNE WALKS BACK INTO KITCHEN

Did I hear the word, "Imperial"? Oh baby, I can see that juke-box styled push-button drive right now. Oh yeah!

(confirming glare to fred)

Now, June, we'll talk about that later. Now, please run along. Don't you have some vacuuming to do or something?

Vacuuming?! The only thing I'm going to be vacuuming is that fine, plush upholstery in that LeBaron Imperial.

Now, June. Nobody said anything about a LeBaron. We were talking Crown, tops. Tops.

You were talking Crown.

Ah, Fred, could we continue this analysis later on?

(sensing the domestic stuation)

Sure, Ward, old man. How about we continue with the financials regarding the bun warmer and comdiment line stainless purchases tomorrow night at my place?

(dismissively)

OK, Sure.

FRED LEAVES THE KITCHEN

Ah, heh, heh.

(nervously)

Now, June. I thought we agreed that if I could follow my dream and go into business to catch this fast-food wave while it's still an opportunity, and possibly make a killing for us all, you could shop - later - for a late model, sensible car. This Imperial talk was just a lot of smoke I had to blow in front of the other guys at the club the other day. You know that. We needed their backing for up-front financing.

Smoke or no smoke, I have already found an available LeBaron. Down at Mayfield Chrysler.

WARD GROWS ANTSY

But June, I - we - haven't made a dime yet! Why the gas alone for that barge will cost a small fortune.

Not as much as stainless condiment line equipment for this burger place you and Fred are hashing out. I hear that crap is like gold.

June, I simply forbid it! There will be no, I repeat, no LeBaron in our driveway now, tomorrow, or ever!

Oh yeah? I wonder if you recognize this.

(June produces a document)

What's that?

Perhaps if I read a little: "I, Ward Cleaver, hereby promise to buy my wife, June Cleaver, a brand new Chrysler LeBaron Imperial as soon as my new restaurant turns a profit or sooner if I am in the mood."

The "I am in the mood" means you or me?

My version means "me".

So, it means when I am in the mood? Right?

No. When I am in the mood. Don't try to confuse me, Ward. Even if you were sauced when you signed this, it is still a contract that you must honor.

We'll see about this!

(taking a new tack, cooing)

Ward, can't we just forget all of this arguing and that mean old contract and just drive on over to the car lot and look at the car now?

(rubbing Ward's shoulders)

(participating in the make up)

Well, seeing as I did sign that contract and all ...

But, what about Fred?

Huh?

How am I going to tell him that the kitchen will just have to do without a deep-fat fryer and a refridgerator while you tool around town on high test?

Well, how about his wife coming down and running a traditional frying pan? Or that deadbeat Lumpy ... couldn't he do something useful for a change?

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Huh?