Yeah, mom. The Beav even wants to try to get tickets to the Apollo show.

Oh, Ward, isn't that ridiculous! Why the Beaver can't possibly go clear across the country to see some soul music performer we don't know anything at all about.

Now, Wally, you must have misunderstood Beaver. I've never even heard of - who did you say this fellow was?

James Brown, Dad. He's the best soul singer around. Beaver's nuts over him. He says the guy's band is pure funk.

Wally! You watch your mouth!

Gee, Dad. Funk just means a real neat, kind of jive, primitive sound, I think. I'm not that much into it. Some of the guys are beginning to get hip.

Oh. Well, ok son.

Oh Ward, don't you think you ought to get the Beaver down here and settle this right now?

Now, June, let's give the boy a few days to get over this whole James Brown thing. I'm sure it's nothing more than a passing fad.

I don't know, Dad. The Beaver is pretty worked up.

JUNE GIVES WARD A LOOK THAT INDICATES THAT IF HE DOESN'T DO SOMETHING NOW SHE MAY DECIDE TO MAKE LIFE DIFFICULT FOR HIM.

WARD SEES HE'S OUTNUMBERED AND CALLS FOR THE BEAVER.

Beaver! Beaver, come down here will you, son?

Ok, Dad.

Gee Dad, you aren't going to hit me are you?

Of course not, Beaver. But I do need to talk to you about something.

What is it? I hope it's not the birds and bees stuff again. I'm 9 now, you know. Anyways, Larry already told me everything you forgot.

Ah, heh, heh, no Beaver.

(beat)

Beav, I've found out that you are hung up on some new singer named -

Yeah Dad, James Brown. He's real funky! And keen too! And you should hear his band. That Clyde Stubblefield is the greatest. And Maceo Parker! They're all so funky! I want a pair of dancing shoes like his to get groovin'.

Yes, Beaver. But your mother is afraid you are seriously thinking of trying to go to some theater in New York City to see this Brown man. Is this true?

Who told you that?

Never mind who told me. Is that what you intend to try to do?

Well, not really, Dad. I don't have the money to do it.

WARD ISSUES A SIGH OF RELIEF

Well Beaver, that's just as well. It would be a long trip for anyone to attempt. And you're only 9 years old!

(beat)

Is this Brown fellow that good?

Sure, Dad! You want to hear one of his records?

Ok, Beaver.

(Ward grinning for his son's excitement)

Put one of them on the phonograph.

BEAVER HUSTLES UPSTAIRS AND RETURNS WITH A 45.

BEAVER PUTS THE RECORD ON THE HI FI.

JAMES BROWN'S "OUT OF SIGHT" MUSIC PLAYS.

Hey, that is some smokin' tune, Beav!

WARD IS SNAPPING HIS FINGERS AND MOVING TO THE BEAT, WOBBLING HIS HEAD ABOUT.

What are those lyrics? I can't quite tell what he's saying. Is it French, or what?

JUNE IS GETTING PEEVED.

Oh for heaven sakes! Ward, that sounds awful! It's jungle music!

Shhsh June! I can't hear!

(beat)

Beaver, what is James saying? Something about "high heeled sneakers"? Wait, and something about a "sweet disposition"?

That's right Dad. Isn't it funky?!

(dumbfounded)

Gee Dad, you actually like that music?!

By gum Wally, it is as funky as the Beaver said it was!

(beat)

Wait, what was that Beaver? Did he say "Good God, now"?

JUNE'S EARS PRICK UP AND STANDS BOLT UPRIGHT.

Ward, I will absolutely not stand for blasphemy in this house! This Good God business has got to go!

But June, removing those lyrics would spoil the ambience, don't you see?

JUNE GOES OVER TO THE RECORD PLAYER AND JERKS THE 45 OFF THE TURNTABLE AND SMASHES IT ON THE FLOOR.

Now! All of you listen to me! There will be no James Brown singing, or whatever that fellow was doing, played in this house ever again! Understand?

Gee, Mom. Don't you at least think his band is funky?

Well, I have to admit that that St. Clair Pinckney and Clyde Stubblefield were really in a groove. Was that rendering I heard you playing the other day of "Fatbag" Mr. Brown's group also? That was sure enough boss.