Oh honey, don't worry about those old critics. What do they know anyway? I mean so what if one or two of them have pronounced your most famous so called song extra puny, or was it just extra lame?.

(in a depressed state)

That might be easy for you to say but I'm finished. How can I go on?

How can you go on?! Ricky, don't even think of that suicide stuff again. I thought you promised that you wouldn't ever talk about that again the last time something like this happened!

Yeah, but that was before the onslaught of criticism about my trademark song. No, I think I have to entertain the idea of suicide again.

Ricky! Listen to yourself, you sound ridiculous! Why don't you just decide to pick yourself up and start all over again? Pick a new trademark song, or, better yet, go into a whole different direction professionally. Maybe hardware, or sales, I don't know.

Me, in hardware?! Or sales?! Ha! That's a laugh! No, I think I would choose the new song direction if I weren't so depressed.

LUCY REACHES OVER AND SLAPS RICKY ON THE CHEEK.

What are you doing? You crazy or something? Here I am all dejected and you hit me?

Ricky, SNAP OUT OF IT! GET UP! Now, go in the other room and think up another trademark song. Go on, scoot!

RICKY TRUDGES OFF TO WRITE A NEW SONG.

MEANWHILE LUCY PHONES ETHEL TO ENLIST THE MERTZES' HELP TO PERK RICKY UP.

That's right, Ethel. Ricky is in the other room racking his little brain trying to come up with his new trademark song. I thought that you and Fred could just wander up and try to cheer him up.

You will?

Good. See you in a few minutes.

LUCY HASN'T HEARD RICKY IN SEVERAL MINUTES. SHE FIGURES HE'S BUSY WRITING DOWN HIS NEWLY COMPOSED MEASURES.

THE MERTZES ARRIVE.

Hi, Lucy.

Hi ya, Luce. Where's Rick?

He's in the other room composing. Go on in and dote over his new song.

But we haven't even heard it yet.

So what! He doesn't know that. You could have heard it from downstairs a little while ago when he was developing the chord structure or something. Now, go on in.

FRED AND ETHEL, FOLLOWED BY LUCY, WALK INTO THE ROOM WHERE RICKY HAS BEEN WORKING. THEY DO NOT SEE RICKY BUT RATHER AN OPEN WINDOW WITH ITS CURTAINS WAFTING IN THE BREEZE.

(Lucy is frantic, running to the open window)

Oh no! He's jumped! Oh no! Ethel, what am I going to do?!

Now Lucy, we don't know that he's actually jumped. Just hold on!

JUST THEN THEY ALL HEAR A TOILET FLUSH.

THEY ALL LOOK RELIEVED, SO TO SPEAK.

See, I knew he didn't jump.

Yeah, you were right. Boy, what a relief, so to speak.

(Ethel gives Lucy the "lame joke" look.)

Ah, Duh! ...

LITTLE RICKY COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND IS CONFRONTED WITH THE THREE ADULTS.

(A puzzled look comes over Lucy.)

Little Ricky, where's Daddy?

Oh, he jumped out of the window a few minutes ago.

Little Ricky, are you sure?

Sure I'm sure, I pushed him.

Not!

JUST THEN RICKY POPS OUT OF THE CLOSET, LAUGHING.

(laughing heartily)

Oh boy Lucy, did we fool you!

Yeah, Mommy, what a dope you are. You too Uncle Fred and Aunt Ethel. What dopes!

Not!

Hey, Little Ricky. Where did you pickup the not stuff?

Oh, it's all over the kindergarten.

Hey Ricky, this gives me an idea! If the critics didn't like Babaloo, then lets give them the opposite of Babaloo!

Huh?

Yeah, don't you see? Instead of Babaloo, you sing Babaloo - Not!. Get it? The opposite?

Hold on, Lucy. There may be some copyright stuff here. Doesn't Seinfeld do something like this in about 40 years?

Who?

Never mind.

FOCUS SHIFTS BACK TO RICKY

(suddenly excited)

Yeah! That's right! That's exactly what I'll do! Honey go get my press agent on the phone. Hold the presses!

RICKY LOOKS AT FRED AND ETHEL TO GET THEIR REACTION TO HIS LAST HOLD THE PRESSES COMMENT.

What are you looking at us for, Ricky. Haven't you ever seen a 35 year old woman who is married to a 75 year old man before?