FADE IN: INT. APT BUILDING STORE-ROOM
LUCY
Ethel, hand me some of those cockroaches. No, not those, the big ones.
Yeah, that's them.
ETHEL
Boy are Fred and Ricky going to be surprised when they see how well
we are doing in this business we started by using what we already plenty
of right here in our own building!
LUCY
Yeah, Fred ought to be grateful that we are helping him clean up this
disgusting dump of an apartment building!
ETHEL
Yeah! Hey, wait a second. I think you just insulted
Fred and me! Did you?
LUCY
No I didn't honey. I just was talking about Fred.
ETHEL
Oh, well, that's okay then.
LUCY
Hey, Ethel, give me a hand with this sack of rats. I can't seem
to get this knot tied tight enough.
ETHEL
Wait a second, Lucy. I've got my hands full with these fleas and lice.
LUCY
Ethel, hurry! Some of these nasty varmints are escaping! Quick!
ETHEL
I can't Lucy, I can't. If I help you, all these fleas and lice
will get out. You know how long it took us to catch them the first time!
LUCY
Shoot! Now look what you've done! Half these rats have gotten lose!
ETHEL
LUCY
ETHEL
Whatever! Just get them back before they go too far. Lucy, we're
going to lose money on this shipment, I'm afraid.
LUCY
No we won't, Ethel. I made sure of it.
ETHEL
How? If we don't send the bugs and rodents, how in the world are
we going to get paid?
LUCY
You ever heard of insurance?
ETHEL
Insurance? How's that going to help us?
LUCY
Ethel, are you that dense? We package up whatever vermin
we have, buy a lot of insurance on the package, then, when it gets to the
lab and they try to hit us with the refund for shorting them, we pass
the cost on to the insurance company. Pretty slick, huh?
ETHEL
I don't get it, Lucy? How are we going to convince the insurance
company that we actually shipped a full order and that most of
the creatures got away in transit?
LUCY
Hey, I thought of the hard part. You figure out how to deal with the
insurance company. Hand me a few pouches of snails, will you?
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