Uncle Jed? Granie? Ellie? I'm home! Quick come see my uniform!

ALL COME RUNNING FROM VARIOUS PARTS OF THE HOUSE.

Weellll doggies! Would you look at this?! Boy, this is the fanciest uniform I've ever seen!

And look here, Uncle Jed.

JETHRO OPENS THE COAT TO SHOW JED THE POCKETS ON THE INSIDE.

And, Uncle Jed, they's even a secret pocket.

JETHRO OPENS THE SECRET POCKET TO SHOW THEM.

What you going to do with that fancy uniform?

I'm working, Grannie.

Are you in the Army?

No'm Grannie. I'm what they call a doorman.

A doorman?! What's that?

Well, near as I can figure, I stand in front of this big hotel all day and open the door for rich people.

That's it? That's all you do?

GRANNIE WAVES HER ARMS IN DISGUST AT JETHRO'S JOB DESCRIPTION AND GOES BACK TO THE KITCHEN.

Can I get me one of these uniforms too, Pa?

Well, I don't see why not.

(beat)

Jethro, take Ellie down to the hotel and get her one of these here uniforms.

They don't let girls be doormen. It's a job for men.

It is not!

Is so!

Is not!

Is so!

Is not!

Is so!

Is not!

Is so!

Is not!

Is so!

Is not!

Is so!

Is not!

HOLD IT! STOP! Man that was boring! Was that really in the script?

Yes it was.

Ok, Jethro. We're all proud of you. Now go change your clothes and get a fire started for Grannie out back. She's cooking up some hog renderings.

Ah, Uncle Jed, I don't eat that country fare any more.

Since when?

Since I moved up in the world and became a doorman.

Suit yourself, boy.

Does Grannie have any vienna sausages?

I think so.

Good. They're more to my liking, what with my new social station and all.