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Monday February 12, 2024


MORNING
7AM GOMER PYLE, USMC - Comedy, 30 min.
Sgt. Carter goes on a crash diet while on leave and loses 85 pounds, leaving him so emaciated that he is not even recognized by his own men.

EVENING
8PM SPIN-OFF : WAY AFTER MASH-IV - New show, 1 hr.
This spin-off of a spin-off of a spin-off has no original cast character from M*A*S*H left. The only tie to the original show that this one can make is that the Colonel's friend once saw one of Jamie Farr's brothers at a Fat Boy in San Jose.
8PM RESCUE 911 - Drama, 1 hr.
William Shatner hosts the all-dangerous animal episode.

RESCUE 911

Whole Lotta Bitin'

 

SHATNER IS STANDING NEAR THE ENTRANCE TO AN ANIMAL CONTROL TRUCK'S REAR DOOR BEHIND WHICH, THROUGH THE LARGE-MESH WIRE, SEVERAL SNARLING DOGS ARE VISIBLE.

SHATNER

On the evening of December 14, 2017 Nate Plotkin was standing on the bank of a pond near his home in Tupelo, Mississippi with his son, Nate Jr., trying to catch some frogs when the younger family member caught site of some unusual movement in the weeds of the pond. Before he could alert his father a 35-foot alligator had lunged out of the water and caught Plotkin, Sr. by the leg and seemed intent on dragging him into the water and making a meal out of him. Here's how the 911 call came in on that night.

OPERATOR

911. What is the problem?

PLOTKIN, JR. IS PANTING HEAVILY.

PLOTKIN, JR.

You got to help me!

OPERATOR

What is the problem?

PLOTKIN, JR.

My dad's been bitten by a monster!

OPERATOR

Son, I've got better things to do than play g-

PLOTKIN, JR.

I'm serious! It's the most hugest `gator I ever seen. And it's got him by the leg and it's trying to eat him.

OPERATOR

You mean right now?

PLOTKIN, JR.

Yes. Please hurry!

OPERATOR

Okay, stay calm. Let me get some more information. Where has the creature bitten your father?

PLOTKIN JR.

On the leg!

OPERATOR

I know that! But where on the leg?

PLOTKIN, JR.

About at his ankle.

OPERATOR

Uh, oh! That's bad. Is he bleeding a lot?

PLOTKIN, JR.

Well, I can't really tell.

OPERATOR

You can't see it?

PLOTKIN, JR.

No, my father told me not to tell anyone he was bleeding like a "stuck pig".

PLOTKIN, SR. HURLS A ROCK AT HIS SON.

WHACK!

PLOTKIN, JR.

Ow! Sorry, Pop, but she asked!

PLOTKIN TOSSES A TREE BRANCH AT HIS SON.

FWWONNGGGG!

WHACK!

PLOTKIN, JR.

Ow! Pop, look! The gator has turned you a' loose! Run!

OPERATOR

Is your father running away?

PLOTKIN, JR.

He told me he couldn't run. He can't even walk!

OPERATOR

He can't walk? Where is the gator?

PLOTKIN, JR.

Oh NO! It's coming at us! Aaiiieeee! It's coming for me!

SHATNER

At this point the phone was dropped and picked up by the elder Plotkin.

OPERATOR

Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?

PLOTKIN, SR.

Ah, yeah, I'm here. This here is Nate Plotkin. Ah, the gator's got my boy by the back! Help! Send some animal people over real quick!

OPERATOR

Sir, they are on their way. Is your son in pain?

PLOTKIN, SR.

Well now, what do you think?!? I said the gator's got him by the back! Oh no! It's dragging him into the pond!

OPERATOR

What's an alligator doing in a pond anyway?

PLOTKIN, SR.

I really don't know. I've seen those durn things up in a little crick that won't no bigger than a few feet. They just - Hey! Why don't we stick to the issue here!?! Is someone coming for my boy or not?

OPERATOR

They should be there any second now.

PLOTKIN, SR.

Yeah. Here come's somebody in a truck with flashing yellow lights.

OPERATOR

Did you say yellow lights?

PLOTKIN, SR.

Yeah. They's yellow.

OPERATOR

The truck coming for you has flashing red lights. That must be some other truck. How's your boy doing? ... Mr. Plotkin? ...

PLOTKIN, SR.

Oh NO! Where's Nate, Jr.? He's GONE! The gator's done dragged him under!

OPERATOR

Are you sure? Could it be that your boy escaped?

PLOTKIN, SR.

I suppose.

SHATNER

Mr. Plotkin actually did find his son lying further up on the pond's bank feeling apparently none the worse for the wear. When Animal Control officers finally arrived on the scene some 3 hours later they wrote up Plotkin and his son for calling in a false alarm. The outcome of the court case involving Plotkin's challenge of the violation is still pending.

 

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