TED IS ABOUT TO WRAP UP HIS NEWS BROADCAST.

This is Ted Baxter saying good night and -

TED IS HANDED A BULLETIN. HE READS IT TO HIMSELF. HE SEES LOU AND MARY OFF TO THE SIDE BEHIND THE LIVE CAMERA.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been handed this piece of ...

(clears throat)

... late-breaking news. According to network sources the horse who played Mr. Ed, Phil, has died at the age of 146.

(Ted is incredulous)

Wow! Now that's what I call an old horse!

(beat)

This is Ted Baxter saying good night, and good news!

And, 3, 2, 1 we're off. That's a wrap everyone.

LOU COMES HUSTLING OVER TO TED.

Ted, why did you read that bulletin without checking with me first?

What's the matter, Lou?

Ted, you dunce, you're fired! Pack your stuff and get out!

TED IS MOTIONLESS, NOT BELIEVING WHAT HE HAS JUST HEARD.

Ted? TED? Hey! Ted?

TED BEGINS TO STIR.

Lou? Mary? I just had the strangest dream. I dreamed I read this news bulletin about a 146-year old horse dying and then, Lou, you ran over to me and fired me. Pretty strange, huh?

LOU AND MARY TURN AND STARE AT EACH OTHER.

Ted? That was no dream. You did do that incredibly stupid thing, then I did fire you!

TED STARTS CRYING. MARY TAKES HIS SIDE.

Mr. Grant, couldn't you at least have kind of eased into your canning on Ted? Don't you have any compassion for him?

None!

ALL WALK BACK INTO THE NEWS ROOM.

Mr. Grant, ah, what would you do if we - Murray and I - just up and walked out right now? You know, in sympathy for Ted being fired.

I'd do all of the work myself. That's what I'd do!

Mr. Grant, you know you couldn't handle all of the work which has to be done each day, now could you?

Sure I could. You want me to prove it?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Prove it!

Ok, we'll start by firing all of you. Mary, Murray, busy guy number 1 at the typewriter, other guy at the typewriter, I have an announcement to make.

LOU WAITS UNTILL EVERYONE IS QUIET.

You are all F.I.R.E.D, fired! Canned! Through! Any questions?

Ah, yes. Mr. Grant, have you seen my box full of stolen office supplies? I really need to top it off before I leave.

No, I haven't. Have you looked over there?

LOU POINTS TO OTHER SIDE OF ROOM.

Hey, Lou. I hope you are happy. Now little Joannie - you know, my daughter? - won't be able to get an operation on her horribly deformed face.

Well, Murray, you can thank Mary for this. She threw down the gauntlet.

Thanks, thanks Mary.

MARY IS BUSY FILLING HER BOX FROM THE SUPPLY CABINET. SHE DOESN'T EVEN HEAR MURRAY.