Oh, Jim. What the (censored) are we going to do? We can't go (censored) on like this! See?! See?! Now I'm beginning to use that (censored) language!

Margaret! Margaret! It's not that (censored) bad. I think we are surely adult enough and in (censored) control enough to not succumb to that. No, come on. Get a (censored) hold of yourself. Have you seen Betty?

(censored) no, not lately.

BETTY? BETTY?

BETTY REPLIES FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE HOUSE.

(shouting)

YES? FATHER, IS THAT YOU?

(shouting)

YES. PLEASE COME HERE.

A COUPLE OF SECONDS LATER, BETTY COMES DOWNSTAIRS.

Betty, what the (censored) do you know about a stack of important papers I had sitting here on this (censored) table yesterday?

Why, (censored) nothing, Father. I haven't seen any (censored) papers at all. Honest.

Okay, Betty. I (censored) believe you. Have you seen Kitten?

I think she's outside playing in the (censored) yard. (Censored).

Please call he in for me, will you? I need to (censored) speak to her about those (censored) papers.

BETTY GOES TO THE FRONT DOOR, OPENS IT AND SHOUTS TO KITTEN.

(shouting)

HEY CATHY!

Get your (censored) self in here. Father wants to (censored) ask you something.

IN A SHORT WHILE CATHY, AKA KITTEN, APPEARS AT THE (CENSORED) FRONT DOOR.

What the (censored) is it, Daddy?

Kitten, have you messed with some (censored) papers I had laying on this (censored) table yesterday?

No sir. I haven't seen any (censored) papers at all. I'm just a (censored) little girl. You (censored) know.

JIM IS NOT SURE WHAT THAT LAST COMMENT WAS SUPPOSED TO (CENSORED) MEAN, BUT PRESSES (CENSORED) ON.

Well, that only leaves (censored) Bud. Where is he?

Just a second. Just a (censored) second. How was (censored) Mother (censored) absolved?

Betty! How dare you curse at your (censored) mother! Now you apologize this (censored) instant!

Sorry, Mother. It's that (censored) Bud thing though. It's got us all saying (censored) things we would normally only say off (censored) air.

(censored) Betty's right. I think it's time we got rid of the problem at it's (censored) source. Where is Bud? Anyone (censored) know?

I saw him working on his (censored) car a few minutes ago.

He's got a (censored) car?!

(beat)

Betty, go lock the (censored) door! Quickly!

BETTY RUNS OVER AND SHUTS AND LOCKS THE DOOR.

There. (censored) problem (censored) solved! Let's eat some (censored) lunch! Come on!

THE (CENSORED) HAPPY ANDERSON FAMILY (CENSORED) ALL WALK TO THE (CENSORED) KITHEN.