GILLIGAN APPROACHES THE PROFESSOR IN A PANIC

See! See, Professor! It's real! It's real! It's a real treasure map! I'm going to be rich! Rich!

Gilligan, I hate to burst your bubble but that map you have is nothing more than a page of hen scratching which has washed up from a passing ship. It's completely worthless. I'm sorry.

(crestfallen)

Oh. Ok, Professor. I'll just throw it away.

That won't be necessary, Gilligan. I'll take it and throw it away for you. Here, give it here.

Thanks. Thanks, Professor.

GILLIGAN GIVES THE PROFESSOR THE PAPER AND WANDERS OFF WITH HIS HEAD BOWED.

THE PROFESSOR SNATCHES THE PAPER AND RUNS OFF.

GINGER AND MARY ANN DISCUSS HIGH FASHION.

Mary Ann, why don't you dress a little more sheik?

Ginger, why don't you try the waif look. Like me.

Please! I could never dress like you! Those clothes are so, so gauche. Ooo!

MARY ANN BECOMES SO ANGRY SHE PICKS UP A COCONUT AND TOSSES IT AT GINGER. GINGER DUCKS, REVEALING MUCH CLEAVAGE, HOWEVER.

Hey, you're just wasting that sight on me, honey!

MARY ANN PICKS UP ANOTHER COCONUT AND STRIKES GINGER POINT BLANK.

(crying)

Ouch! You little hillbilly! I'll get you!

THE PROFESSOR IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE TREASURE MAP.

Let's see. Twelve paces from the big rock. Three paces toward the palm tree. Crap! Any palm tree as old as this map will certainly have died and fallen down by now. Crap! I'm sunk.

THE PROFESSOR IS DESTROYED. HE SEEKS A SEAT ON A ROCK IN THE SHADE. HE SEES GINGER ALSO SITTING THERE CRYING.

Hi, Ginger. What's wrong?

Mary Ann insulted me and smote me with a coconut. Look, it hit me right here.

GINGER LEANS OVER TOWARD THE PROFESSOR TO SHOW HIM HER HEAD BUMP. THE PROFESSOR SPIES THE CAVERNOUS CLEAVAGE ALSO PRESENTED TO HIM.

(to himself)

Mama mia!

Pardon me?

Oh, nothing.

Hey Ginger, have you ever seen a real treasure map?

Huh?

You up for a little burried treasure, my love?

JUST THEN, A MAN BEARING A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO WALLY COX ENTERS THE SCENE FROM THE LEFT.

I'm sorry, who might you be?