So Beaver, how did things go in school today?

Fine. I think we got our report cards.

Beaver, don't you know whether Miss Landers gave you the report cards or not?

WALLY IS NERVOUSLY SHIFTING IN HIS SEAT AND PICKING AT HIS FOOD.

Yeah Mom, I guess we got them.

Well Beaver how were your grades?

Oh, I got all goods, Dad. I think they have to give all us kids goods or something.

WARD AND JUNE SMILE AT THE CUTE RESPONSES FROM THEIR YOUNGER SON.

How about you Wally? Did you get your grades today also?

Yeah. Yeah, Dad, I got them.

WALLY GOES ON EATING.

Well Wally, what did you get?

BEAVER ATTENTIVE TO WALLY'S STALL MOVES.

Son? What did you get?

Gee Dad. I think he must have flunked by the way he's acting.

(Beaver giggles)

Well, you see, it's like, well, ah, well, I got 6 F+'s.

Whaaaat?! Six F+'s?! Wally, that's awful!

But Dad, I really did better than that! Honest!

(mad)

Wally, I want you to get up from the table right this minute and go upstairs and wait for me to come up there.

Yes sir.

WALLY GETS UP AND HEADS UPSTAIRS.

Gee Dad, you gonna hit him?

(Ward turns to Beaver, and speaks angrily)

Beaver, you go upstairs too!

Yes sir.

BEAVER ALSO GETS UP AND HEADS UPSTAIRS.

Oh Ward. I just don't understand it. Wally usually does so well in school. What in the world is the problem?

I know. I don't know what the problem is but I intend to find out.

WARD GETS UP TO GO UPSTAIRS.

Ward, you're not going to get violent again, are you?

WARD TURNS AROUND TO GLARE AT JUNE AS HE WALKS AWAY FROM THE TABLE.

UPSTAIRS, WARD OPENS THE DOOR TO HIS SONS' ROOM.

Wally, I want an explanation for the failing grades, and I want it right now!

Like I said downstairs, Dad, I got all A's and B's on everything. So I can't understand why the F's were on the report card, unless ... ... Unless that Eddie Haskel has somehow gotten into the computer and changed the grades around!

Computer?! What's a computer?

Oh it's just this thing that they use to do computations at a rate of billions per second with. Anyway, they also use it to store the school's grades. If someone were to have one of those modem things I bet he could sneak into the computer files and do just this type of thing.

I know Eddie's a coward and a fink but would he do this to his best friend.

Fink! Gee, Dad, nobody uses that word any more!

(Beaver giggles)

WARD GIVES BEAVER A TERRIFYING STARE.

Not only would he do it to his best friend, he'd do it to me too!

BEAVER LAUGHS AT WALLY'S FUNNY.

Good one Wally.

Is there any way we could see whether Eddie actually has done this or not?

Gee, Dad. Why don't you just use a blue box on our phone to get into the computer to check it out yourself?

Beaver, what are you talking about?

Show him Wally.

WALLY REACHES UNDER THE BED AND DRAGS OUT A METAL BOX OF SOME TYPE.

Like this Dad.

(taking hold of the box)

What the devil is this?

Is this is the thing that you can use to get into the school's computer with?

(Ward looks completely puzzled)

Look Dad, just take the receiver and put this cup on it, then punch these numbers. Once you get the tone, indicating the remote machine had connected, punch in my social security number + 4459234. After the 290-hertz tone, punch 451123, then the ASCII code for the sequence of letter grades you want to set.

WARD HAS A BLANK STARE GOING.

Dad? Dad? DAD?!

Sorry, Wally. What were you saying?

You didn't hear any of that explanation?

No.

Dad, it's getting late. Why don't I just fix the grades, then take care of Eddie.

Sounds good to me. I've got a loaded .44 if you need it.

That's ok, Dad. I've got a zip gun I made in shop.