You know Ethel, this latest scheme just may win me the academy award!

Oh, Lucy. It isn't that good, for heaven's sake!

I beg to differ. It has a certain finesse, a certain devil-may-care ambience. I think it's one of my best schemes ever.

ETHEL JUST STARES AT LUCY.

Well, it is.

If you say so, Lucy. I'm just an innocent bystander in this one. I don't see how in the world you think you can get rid of one of Ricky's cute, young dancers and fill the part yourself. You don't even know the two-step, much less the routine you would have to do in the show!

Remember the other time I tried to pull a similar stunt and Ricky didn't catch on until the end of the show?

Yeah. But that was different. You were younger and more nimble. And, sexier! Anyway, you pulled it off because you were more physically fit then.

Ethel, that was only last season! I couldn't have aged that much!

You've put on a few. And you know where I mean, too.

And I suppose you haven't?!

Nobody said I haven't. But then I am not going to try to do a jig on the dance floor of the Copa either.

Ethel, you used to go along with any scheme I hatched. What's with all this sensibility all of a sudden? Why not just go with the flow and help me?

Well, Lucy, I didn't want to tell you this, but I guess I'll have to now.

Tell me what Ethel?

Ricky and I have something going.

LUCY LAUGHS.

Lucy, I'm serious!

LUCY LAUGHS LOUDER.

Lucy, you don't seem to understand. Ricky is putting the Cuban lip lock on me these days.

LUCY STILL LAUGHS.

Lucy, you go on deluding yourself if you want to. Just go ahead with your scheme. I'll try not to break your marriage up, ok?

Ethel, you lie! I know for a fact that, although Ricky has questionable taste sometimes, he would never fall for a cow like you!

Why not? He fell for a hen like you didn't he? Or should I say, henna?

LUCY GETS AN INSULTED EXPRESSION ON.

Ethel, you scum. Can we just return to being best friends?

Sure we can.