Gilligan, the Skipper is in the crapper, so to speak. I think I can help him with just a simple and natural remedy. Can you help me, and him?

Sure, Professor. Anything for the Skipper.

Gilligan, go get me some palm bark.

Okay, Professor.

A LITTLE LATER.

Gilligan, go get me some coconut fuzz.

Okay, Professor.

A LITTLE LATER.

Gilligan, go get me some wild grapes.

Okay, Professor.

A LITTLE LATER.

THE PROFESSOR, THOUGH SOMEWHAT DISTRACTED BY HIS MAKESHIFT PHARMACOLOGICAL OPERATION, IS GETTING AMUSED THAT GILLIGAN IS SO WILLING TO BE SUCH A STOOGE. THE PROFESSOR DECIDES TO PUT GILLIGAN TO THE TEST.

Gilligan, go get me some volcano pumice.

Okay, Professor.

A WHILE LATER GILLIGAN RETURNS OUT OF BREATH AND FILTHY.

Gilligan, go get me some menthol cigarettes. Soft pack.

Okay, Professor.

A LITTLE LATER GILLIGAN RETURNS EMPTY-HANDED.

What happened Gilligan?

They were out of them, Professor.

Who was out of them?

The 7-11 up on Sepulveda.

RUSSEL JOHNSON, AKA THE PROFESSOR, COMES OUT OF CHARACTER AND ASKS BOB DENVER WHY HE FELT IT NECESSARY TO STRAY FROM THE SCRIPT.

Bob, what's the idea? You know this will have to be cut from the tape. I mean, why waste the other actors' time with this Sepulveda crap?

Russel, I'm sick of being treated like a idiot each week. The Gilligan character is getting real lame! I want to be you next week. Okay?

JOHNSON LOOKS AT THE DIRECTOR FOR AN ANSWER.

Bob, Bob, come here, baby.

DENVER WALKS OVER TO THE DIRECTOR

Listen to me. This Gilligan is the star of this show! Dig? Now, let's drop this character swap nonsense and get back to the script, shall we?

Well, can I at least try to solve some differential equation pertinent to the tidal reach and current eddy turbulence? You know,

(winking to Director)

try to get Ginger to take notice?

You think that would that make her notice you?

Maybe.

Maybe? What does she know about calculus?

About what?

JUST THEN, A MAN BEARING A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO WALLY COX ENTERS THE SCENE FROM THE LEFT.

I'm sorry, who might you be?