On today's show we have a woman who is selling an Elvis impersonator costume. Here's the ad we saw:

Elvis Presley Impersonator kit. Deluxe. Makes any person - fat or thin - look exactly like the King! Easy-care fabric and glue-on sideburns and sneer will air dry if excessively sweaty. A built-in hotdog carrier and a dozen snappy belts highlight this outfit system. Originally owned by Carol Murphy-Pitts, renowned celebrity impersonator. Carol has passed on now but she would be proud if you would wear this get-up. First 2 grand takes it home.

Please welcome Mrs. Bugg, the seller of the Elvis suit.

Thank you. I have a marvelous outfit I'm selling. It's a real show-stopper.

Well, Ms. Bugg, how is it that you own such a thing?

My husband was a tailor and when some guy stiffed him for some alterations once he just kept the clothes. An eye for an eye, you know.

I see. You say that the clothes fit a fat or thin person. What about a medium sized person?

It will fit anyone. It has a lot of give. My husband had put in some top-drawer expand-o-seams in the pants and the shirt and coat.

Any disgusting stains?

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

OK. Does the kit have any special features?

Besides the hotdog carrier?

Ah yes, the hotdog carrier... I was hoping you'd bring that up.

It is one of the finest examples of a hidden meat compartment I have ever seen. My husband was extremely proud of having designed that.

Oh he was?

Yes.

Was he proud?

Yes.

I thought so.

Hey, what is this? Am I'm being given the business?

Oh, certainly not.

Well, I hope not.

Now, Ms. Bugg, do you see any obvious problem with the lack of refrigeration of the hidden meat compartment?

Who said there was lack of refrigeration?

You have on-board cooling?

Yes.

What?!

Yeah, my husband designed an ice compartment that fits right in beside the meat storage compartment.

Melted ice in clothes. Couldn't that get a tad messy?

I guess he figured that if someone is going to carry meat around in their Elvis outfit, they wouldn't care if the melting ice dripped out. And anyway, it's got a seepage tube that runs down the pants and drips on the floor. You either stand over a drain on hot days or people start to feel sorry for the incontinent Elvis.

Ugh! Sounds like more trouble than it's woith, I mean, worth.

It's all part of the glitz of this terrific set of clothes. What size are you?

What difference does it make? Didn't you say it fits any size?

Oh yeah. I guess I did.

So, are you saying that the ad is lying?

Well, you know there have to be some practical limits on a person's girth to be able to wear any clothes. I said fat, not immense or vast or enormous, etc, etc. There are implicit differences, you know.

I guess the subtleties escape me, Ms. Bugg. Enlighten me, if you would.

Well, being married to a tailor all those years I did learn a few things. You have your fat, then moving in the heavier direction your king/queen size, then your giant size, then your enormous category, then comes vast and finally immense. Immense is the biggest. This Elvis costume will not fit anyone larger than what I call fat.

But, how large is fat?

Oh, I guess I'd say up to about, oh, say 300 pounds. Maybe 350.

I believe most people would argue that 300 pounds would have to be somewhere closer to giant or even enormous. I mean, come on!

Hey, listen. I am not going to argue with you. You say giant/enormous, I say fat. I guess the suit either fits or it doesn't.

Yeah, but that's a big piece of change to lay out for something that may not fit, don't you think? You gonna pay the return freight if it doesn't fit?

Tell me, Mr. newspaper man, how many aspiring over 300-lb Elvis impersonators may be interested in the first place?

I don't know. How many?

That was rhetorical, you fool. I'm wasting my time here.

I'd say you're right. Thanks.

You sure you don't want me to overnight the whole deal to you?

Pretty sure.