THE PROFESSOR TOILS TO DISARM A WASHED-UP HYDROGEN BOMB

Get back Gilligan! This durn thing might go off.

GILLIGAN BACKS OFF A FEW YARDS

Yeah, I'll be a lot safer over here!

THE SKIPPER DISAPPROVES OF THE SARCASM

Oh Gilligan, the Professor is just nervous. It's been a while since he had to defuse a nuke. He just wants to play it safe.

Hey, Skipper! When did you get back?

(dumfounded look on Gilligan's face)

THE PROFESSOR ALSO TURNS TO SEE THE SKIPPER BACK

I convinced the cannibals that my current digestive disorder would sour their banquet so they brought me back.

Oh. Good thinking.

(beat)

But what I'm trying to say is that I won't be but an infinitesimal degree safer here than I was over there next to him. Right?

THE PROFESSOR CONTINUES TO LABOR ON THE DISARMING OPERATION.

I see what you're saying, little buddy. Say Professor, what was the purpose of saying what you just did to my little buddy, anyway?

Skipper, he is a jinx, if you want to know the truth. I'm fairly sure my life insurance policy has lapsed, so I really can't take any chances.

Oh, well, since that's the way it is ...

Skipper, who's side are you on?

Gilligan, the Professor is afraid that if he goofs and blows us all up he will not be able to leave anything for his loved ones. That's all.

That's what he said. Are we sure, though, that he even has any loved ones? I think he's lying.

THE PROFESSOR CONTINUES TO LABOR ON THE DISARMING OPERATION BUT IS PICKING UP ON THE STINK GILLIGAN IS THROWING ABOUT SUCH TRIVIAL MATTERS.

Professor, do you actually have any loved ones? I mean, I would just like to know, that's all. I mean, when you get a chance to answer, that is. Sir.

THE PROFESSOR SUDDENLY LEAPS TO HIS FEET WILDLY AND STARTS YELLING.

Run for the hills everyone, she's going to blow in about 4 seconds!

Four seconds? That's not time for us to really get very far, Skipper. Why did the Prof -

HUGE EXPLOSION OCCURS. THE PROFESSOR IS SENT TUMBLING OUT OVER THE PACIFIC. GILLIGAN IS NOT SO LUCKY AND IS VAPORIZED.

(to Mary Ann)

What was that?

Maybe Gilligan sliced the cheese again.

BOTH STRANDED GALS CHUCKLE

JUST THEN, A MAN BEARING A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO WALLY COX ENTERS THE SCENE FROM THE LEFT.

I'm sorry, who might you be?