On today's show we have a woman who claims alligators are behaving oddly because of global warming. Here's the news story we saw:

SNAKE CITY, LA - Alligators have been recently spotted leaving their local watery living quarters for unknown reasons and moving across well-travelled highways and taking up residences in close proximity to nearby convenience stores. Sheila Putnam, local 7-11 assistant manager reported seeing a 10-ft gator "out by the trash heap the other afternoon. He was all dried up or something. I was scared to get near it. The gator, that is. Well, or the trash heap."

Animal control officers have not been able to keep up with the demand of returning the creatures to their normal habitat. Officer Judy Klink called the whole phenomenon "weird and probably caused by global warming, somehow". Reptile handlers from zoos, state fairs and side-shows in six states have been offered jobs to help out. Local animal protection groups have also inserted themselves into the fray to protect the alligators' interests.

Please welcome Ms. Judy Klink.

We'd like to ask you about the alligator situation in Snake City.

OK, but hurry. I got gators coming out my behind, if you know what I mean.

So we hear. Thanks. Ah, first, when did all this alligator business start?

About three weeks ago. I didn't even know there were so many old big ole gators out there!

So, for some reason the alligators come out of the water, then what?

They seem to know where the closest trash bins are and go to them. I guess they have cleaned out the swamps of all the edible stuff.

So they are hungry?

Ah, yeah! I thought I said that.

Well, you said they had eaten all of whatever they eat. I guess that does mean they are hungry. Sorry.

Ok.

So, what are they out of in the swamps?

Huh?

What did they used to eat?

Mostly anything, I think.

Can you be more specific?

Kidding. I believe they eat insects, mostly.

I thought gators were meat eaters... Insects?

Well, that's what I was told.

Who in the world said that?

I saw it on Discovery.

Well, I still don't believe it. I know they eat meat and the like.

Well, now they eat trash, apparently.

Not much protein there. Do you agree?

Hey, I'm only a dog catcher, turned gator catcher. Don't ask me.

What has been the involvement of the animal rights folks?

The who?

The animal rights folks? The tree-huggers?

Oh, them. They are pests, deluxe. I have had one of their people call me each hour, it seems, for the last week or so and pretend to be someone named Barney Swenson from Swamp Creatures Rights, or something like that. The guy goes on and on about wanting us to be sure the gators are not being poked or prodded or even laughed at. I can't even go to the bathroom without those people worrying me!

Was the guy's name Mr. Freeze? F R double-E Z E ?

He didn't say.

Cause that guy has been calling me also!

What? Are you on the level?

Yes. This guy calls each night about dinner time and says he has a car that I can rent from him.

What the ... Why you! I oughtta ...

Ok, ok I was just joking. Calm down. Please continue.

With what?

Telling me what the animal guy was saying to you.

Well, I did. He asked me if the gators were being poked or prodded or even laughed at. Laughed at. Can you believe that?

They are kooky enough to care about that. You sure this guy's name wasn't Mr. Freeze?

Listen. If you are wasting my time, I'm going to call the authorities.

I thought you were one of the authorities.

Not for handling phone pranks.

Oh. You just catch animals? Dogs mainly?

Hey, let me ask you a question. If I drove 400 miles east, then 2400 miles west then 300 miles southeast, then I hung a louie and drove for 500 miles, where would I be?

What does this have to do with the alligator situation?

In Spokane, Washington! No matter where you start, it has to work out that way. Neat, huh? Check it out!