RICHIE RUNS OVER TO THE FONZ, AND BEGINS TO PAT HIM ON THE BACK.

Heeeyy! Nobody touches the Fonz! Not even when he's choking! Heeeyy!

Sure, Fonzie. I just thought you needed some help.

Heeeyy! Nobody helps the Fonz! Not even when he's choking! Heeeyy!

Hey Fonzie, what's with the excessive number of "heeeyy's" so far on this episode?

Heeeyy! It's my, like, trademark. I'm part beatnik, part tough, part psychologist, part teacher, part mama's boy in need of tender love and care. Get my drift?

Sure Fonzie, sure.

Hey guys, now that the Fonz has stopped choking on the chicken bone why don't we go over to the sock hop and show those junior high guys what real greasy heads look like!

Heeeyy! Cunningham, my boy, you are so cool! Let's go!

Ok, guys. I'll go first to kind of scout the place out, you know. When I signal like this ...

(he whistles)

... the rest of you come on in. Ready?

Go Richie!

RICHIE OPENS THE FRONT DOOR AND IS PROMPTLY ATTACKED BY A GUARD DOG. THE DOORS ARE SO SUBSTANTIAL AND SOUND-PROOF THAT RICHIE'S FRIENDS HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT THE TUSSLE GOING ON NOT 10 FEET AWAY.

(about 15 minutes later)

I wonder what's keeping that Cunningham? Hey, Ralph. Maybe you ought to go check it out.

Why me Fonz? Why doesn't Potsie go check it out?

Heeyy, wait a minute. This wasn't my idea!

Hey, Potsie. Did you come very close to using my trademark "heeeyy"? Cause if you did -

INTERRUPTING FONZIE IS THE OPENING OF THE FRONT DOORS THROUGH WHICH A RIPPED UP RICHIE STAGGERS, BLEEDING BADLY.

Heeeyy! What the (censored) happened to you, Cunningham?

(Fonzie turns to speak to the others)

Looks like Richie got whipped by a mean old seventh-grader!

THE WHOLE CROWD, SANS RICHIE, LAUGHS.

(very faintly)

Rabies! Rabies!

What did he say?

I think he said that he that there are babes inside.

Alright!

Heeeyy! Jail bait is more like it!

I'm disappointed in you, Cunningham... Trying to lure us into a school full of minors. Heeeyy! Let's go.

But, Fonzie. Aren't you even going to leave your traditional calling card?

Heeeyy! Of course I am, you dope!

FONZIE PULLS OUT A CIGARETTE LIGHTER AND CATCHES THE WOODWORK AT THE SCHOOL'S ENTRANCE ON FIRE.

Heeeyy! Now let's go! Heeeyy!

Hey Fonzie, I still could make the argument that you have used an excessive number of "heeeyy's" so far on this episode. I really could.