BARNEY HAS JUST RECEIVED IN THE DAY'S MAIL HIS MASTER DETECTIVE KIT AND IS ELATED. ANDY IS JUST DOING PAPERWORK.

Hot dog! It finally came.

What came, Barn?

My detective kit. This baby is going to get me a promotion, for sure!

Well, I wouldn't be too sure. You know the town has got budget problems. I don't know if they can afford to pay you a whole dime more per hour.

(Andy grins at his funny remark)

Very funny, Ange. But you'll see, when I catch some thief red handed.

OK, Barn.

(beat)

Listen, I've got to run this subpoena over to Aunt Bee and I'll be right back.

A subpoena? For what?

You know, that dress store pilfering thing from last year. They nailed Bessie Simmons, remember?

Oh yeah, old "Honest Bessie" Simmons. That old bag deserved to be caught!

Hey Barn, maybe you can go catch yourself such a crook with your new Detective Kit!

(Andy smiles as he walks out)

FLOYD AND BARNEY ARE SITTING ON A BENCH TALKING.

You know, Barney, I hear this summer is going to be a hot one. Hottest we've had for a while.

Floyd, why do you continue to listen to those weather alarmists? You know they just try to stir things up by making such predictions. I say the weather this summer is going to be about the same as it is every summer.

Well, I tell you what is hot though, that new gal working over at the dress store. Linda. Yeah, Linda.

Oh really? I will have to go check her out. You know, give her the Fife once-over.

I understand you also got a Detective Kit. Trying to make the big time, Barney?

No, Floyd. Just trying to get a promotion. I need a crime to solve. Know of any?

(Floyd makes something up on the spur of the moment)

Somebody said Clara reported a peeping Tom the other day. Maybe you could catch him.

No kidding? A peeping Tom?

BARNEY STARTS TO FRENETICALLY GATHER HIMSELF AND GET ON OVER TO CLARA'S HOUSE.

BARNEY NO SOONER GETS TO CLARA'S BACK FENCE AREA THAN HE SEES SOMEONE AT HER WINDOW.

BARNEY APPROACHES SILENTLY AND PULLS HIS EMPTY GUN.

You there! Hold it right there or I'll shoot!

Is that you Barney?

(Opie has Clara's warm apple pie all over his hands)

I say HALT! And put your hands up!

Barney! What are you doing here?

OK, you peeping Tom. Get over here.

BARNEY GETS CLOSER TO THE PERP AND SEES IT IS OPIE.

Opie! What ...? What are you doing here? And, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Gee, Barney. I was just trying to get a sweet piece of pie.

Opie! You shouln'd talk like that. Miss Clara is 10 times your age!

(Opie hold up a sloppy piece of the apple pie)

Pie, Barney. Apple Pie! Want some?

Pie? Pie??? I thought Floyd said there is a peeping Tom over here. I was trying out my new Master Detec-

Oh, I told Otis to scram. He had been here loitering around this window waiting for the pie to be put out. You know I have the goods on Otis, right?

What? Goods? What goods?

I found his still last week and he knows I could tell you law enforcement guys where it is any time I pleased. That's why he left here.

You say Otis has a still?

(Opie looks at Barney like he has two heads)

Ah, duuuh! Where did you think he got his hooch? From the store, like I do?