You know Ange, I always thought that you should be wearing a gun. Like me.

But yours ain't even loaded, Barn.

(grinning)

BARNEY DOESN'T SEE THE HUMOR IN ANDY'S COMMENT.

(getting worked up)

But you're the sherrif. The sherrif should be armed!

Calm down Barney. We all know that the Mayor has only gotten on this wear-a-pistol bandwagon because he is running for the state senate.

But, if you wear a gun, people will respect you more. And -

JUST THEN, OPIE FLINGS OPEN THE DOOR AND COMES IN ALL EXCITED.

Pa! Barney! It's Otis!

(out of breath)

He's ... he's ...

Dead? Is Otis dead?

(worried)

Oh my gosh!

No, Barney. Otis isn't dead.

Oh, don't tell he's sauced in broad daylight!

No, he has a holster and a gun. A big gun!

OPIE LEADS HIS FATHER AND BARNEY OUT ONTO THE STREET ONLY TO FIND OTIS WAVING A LARGE GUN IN THE AIR.

ANDY AND BARNEY APPROACH OTIS.

Otis, what in the name of Smith and Wesson are you doing?

I got me a huge gun Andy. Look! Just like the Mayor told be to get. In fact, he gave it to me.

He did what?

Yeah. He said although one of his platform planks was about stopping illegal moonshine operations, the main one was to arm all of the citizens so they can help fight crime. Like you guys do.

(alarmed at the Mayor's actions)

Well, I'm going right over to see the Mayor and get this stopped!

ANDY AND BARNEY MARCH OVER TO SEE THE MAYOR. ANDY KNOCKS THEN OPENS THE MAYOR'S OFFICE DOOR.

Mayor?

Don't look like the Mayor's here yet, Ange. What are you gonna do now?

I think I will give him some of his own medicine.

How you gonna do that?

I'll tell you how. I am going to swap the wires on his desk buttons!

Desk buttons?

ANDY POINTS OUT THE BUTTONS UNDER THE FRONT EDGE OF THE MAYOR'S DESK.

These, right here.

One of them lets the Mayor open that trap door over there to get rid of visitors he wants gone.

The other button summons his mistress to come up the back stairs.

(grinning)

Oh boy, this will show him, but good!

Now, after I swap the wires, all we have to make sure his first visitor is his big-mouthed wife. He can't stand her anyway so he's gonna want her to disappear.

Yeah, she's awful.

(beat)

He'll press the button to drop her down the chute and - BOOM! - up comes his mistress!

(Barney grinning excitedly)

That's right! We won't have to worry about him running for office after his wife sees what's going on.

But, Ange, what if, say, Aunt Bee is his first unwanted visitor? It could happen.

Well, we just have to make sure his wife is first.

But, how are we gonna do that?

Barney, I think if you call her and tell her the Mayor is choking, to hurry over, that ought to get her moving!

So, hurry! Get going!

(excited)

But, choking ... ? Isn't that a little intense?

OK, make it divirticulitis. Anything to get her over here!

Hey, what if I say that the Mayor is, as we speak, secretly seeing his mistress?

OK. Kind of irony on the hoof. I love it!

(beat)

Now go on! Hurry up! The Mayor ought to be here real soon.

On the hoof?