RICKY IS POURING OVER HIS FINANCIAL PLANS FOR OPENING HIS OWN NIGHT CLUB.

LUCY IS WATCHING HER HUSBAND BECOMING MORE AND MORE AGITATED.

Honey, is 8% more or less than $1000?

(looking askew at Ricky)

What? Percent versus a dollar amount?

(beat)

Ricky, you can't be serious about quitting your job to open a competing night club!

Already quit!

No! I know you didn't really quit!

Yesterday. Done. Cussed out the owner and everything.

LUCY JUST STARES WITH HER MOUTH WIDE OPEN.

Honey, dunt worry. I will be a much bigger star out on my own.

Ricky, you dunt know anything about running a night club!

Well, I disagree. I worked at one for 5 years. I think I know something!

What? ... How to turn on the stage lights?

(gives Lucy the "being ridiculous" expression)

I know all there is to know, Honey. You'll see!

When?

When are you going to start on your own?

Dunt worry. I have put a huge down payment on a place on the East Side where "Charlie's" used to be. You know that spot?

Ricky! How did you have the money to do such a thing? We aren't rich, you know.

Well, I have a backer. He provided the money.

Who exactly gave you the money?

My backer.

But, who is this backer person? I want you to tell me, right now!

It doesn't matter.

Was it Fred?

RICKY BEGINS TO LAUGH OPROARIOUSLY AND THIS CONTINUES FOR SEVERAL MINUTES.

And, who else is going to be in your show?

I'll have you know that I already have several long-in-the-tooth dancers signed up.

(quieter)

And Fred.

Old ladies, huh? That oughtta be good!

(beat)

Fred?!?

The ladies are not that old.

Besides, Honey, there will not be much dancing, just me singing a lot.

And Fred Mertz? Have you lost your mind?

Fred still has something, you know. He's not done yet.

(Lucy staring at Ricky)

What? What could he possibly do to entertain people?

Well, as you know, he was in Vaudeville! He had an act. He and Ethel.