ANDY NOTICES HIS DEPUTY SQUIRMING IN HIS FRESH UNIFORM.

What's wrong, Barney? Fleas?

(grinning)

BARNEY DOESN'T SEE THE HUMOR IN ANDY'S COMMENT.

(violently figiting and twisting)

This shirt seems like it shrunk in several spots. I CAN'T STAND IT!

Calm down, Barney. Let me see what the problem is.

ANDY GETS UP TO COME TOWARD BARNEY.

Look, the sleeves are so tight they feel like those blood pressure cuffs!

They do look a tad tight. Did you gain weight?

(grinning)

No, I did not!

I think that the lady who washes my stuff is playing a trick on me!

Well, why don't I call her right now and ask her if she knows what the problem is.

ANDY GET THE PHONE AND CALLS MRS. PEAK.

Oh, hello, Miz Peak, this is Andy Taylor. I'm over here at the jail with Barney and he is having a terrible time with his shirt. Do you know - Oh! ... You washed it in WHAT? Isn't that stuff only supposed to be used on gummy engine parts? ... You say Gomer gave it to you cause you ran out of your reg'lar detergent and he said it would be OK? I see. Well, yeah, the shirt is way yonder too tight on Barney now. ... That's right, too tight... Do what? Yank the thread on the collar to adjust the fit? ... A fit-o-what? Fit-o-matic? Well, I've never heard of that before. Ok. We'll try it. Thanks. Bye.

A fit-o-matic? What's that?

ANDY COMES CLOSE TO BARNEY AND REACHES UP TO INSPECT HIS SHIRT COLLAR.

Oh, I see. Like Miz Peak said, she added this special string here on your collar so's you could adjust the tightness. She said to give it a yank.

Well, I can't wear it the way it is, so go ahead. Yank it.

ANDY PULLS THE THREAD AND BOTH SLEEVES OF BARNEY'S SHIRT FALL OFF.

What the ...!? What did you do?

I just did what you said. I yanked the string.

Well, it must have been the wrong one! Now the shirt is truly worthless.

But, it was worthless before! You said so yourself.

(grinning)

Hey Barn, you could be the first redneck deputy that truly looks like a redneck. No sleeves and all.

(laughing)

(Barney getting real mad)

Well, that Mrs. Peak is gonna get her's in about 5 minutes.

Hey, Barn. Hey, you can't go over and bust up an old lady for just messing up your shirt. Why, if you did that, you'd be locked up here with Otis.

(Otis is rousting upon hearing his name)

Who? What?

I just told Barney if he beat up an old lady, he'd be locked up here with you.

Oh.

Well, Barney can have the left side of this cot. The stained side.

(laughing in half-awake tone)

(unhappily replying)

Mighty white of you, Otis.

(grinning)