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MORNING
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9AM
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JACK-O-LANTERN FREE-FOR-ALL
- Cartoon 4 hr.
The Halloween evening, 1954, has brought with it a bumper crop of pumpkins. Seedy,
the black cat and Nutty, the grey squirrel, team up, respectively, to scare the wits
out of trick-or-treaters and tunnel through as many porch-resident
pumpkins as possible, thereby hastening their rotting in the autumn weather.
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AFTERNOON
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1PM
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BONANZA
- Western, 1 hr.
Hop Sing is summoned to Carson City to answer questions regarding the disappearance
of neighboring rancher Big Don DeVoss's sheep-herding pooch, Ole Bowdin. Ben Cartwright
siezes the opportunity, while accompanying Sing as a character reference, to
look up his old flame Mary Grunch, who is now much larger than when he courted her and
gainfully employed, nonetheless, as a counterbalance weight on the hay bale scales in town.
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EVENING
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10PM
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GUNSMOKE
- Western, 1 hr.
Matt is called on by Chester and Kitty to participate as a judge in the Dodge City
hide tanning competition.
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GUNSMOKE
"Lawman on a Mission"
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INT JAIL - DAY
CHESTER AND MISS KITTY ARE PLEADING WITH DILLON TO BE THE JUDGE IN THE UPCOMING BEAVER HIDE TANNING CONTEST.
CHESTER
Well, Mr. Dillon, there really ain't nobody else around Dodge to be the judge.
DILLON
But, Chester, I am a lawman. What do I know about tanning hides? Especially beaver hides!
KITTY
Matt, everyone respects you here in town, so nobody will argue with you when you pronounce
a winner.
DILLON
Kitty, I don't think I have ever even seen a beaver hide. The Dodge folks
know I'm no hunter.
CHESTER
Well, I could school you real fast, if'n you want me to.
KITTY
(to Matt about Chester)
Yeah, Matt, he knows a whole lot about hunting and the like.
DILLON
Since when did you hunt, Chester? I've never seen you do any such thing!
CHESTER
Well, it's kind of like I have read a lot of books about hunting, and I believe I
could teach you some too.
DILLON JUST STARES AT HIS DEPUTY.
KITTY
So, what do you say, Matt? You will be our judge? I mean, after Chester
lays the hunting stuff on you?
DILLON
Well, I don't know if I can learn much about hunting, skinning and tanning
in just a week before the contest.
KITTY
A week? The content is this afternoon!
CHESTER
Mr. Dillon, here, now pull up a chair and pay real close attention.
DOC ENTERS THE JAIL HOUSE ALL EXCITED.
DOC
Matt, they've done it! Finally! They've done it!!
DILLON
Hold it, Doc. Who has done what?
DOC
They have discovered how to tell if someone is clairvoyant! I knew
this would eventually happen.
DILLON
Now, what does clairvoyant even mean?
KITTY
I have a feeling maybe I ought to leave the room.
DOC
Just stay, Kitty. Clairvoyant just means that you can see into the future.
KITTY
Like, I could see who was going to walk into the Long Branch before they actually arrive?
Like, with mirrors and such?
DOC
No.
It's more like if I were to know how much money a person had on them when they need medical
help so I can charge almost that amount.
KITTY
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© 2010-2024 Brothers Graham Entertainment
The material published herein is intended to be
satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous.
The resemblance between any fictitious and real person,
place or thing without satirical intent is purely
coincidental.
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