LUCY IS IN THE "THINKER" POSITION WHEN ETHEL COMES THROUGH HER DOOR.

Hi, Lucy. Say, looks like you're deep in thought this morning.

Oh, hi, Ethel. I am just racking my brain trying to figure out how I can be in Ricky's induction ceremony next week.

Lucy, why do you think you need to be in the ceremony? Aren't you going to be at the ceremony anyway?

But, they're going to have dancers there and I want everyone to see that Ricky not only is a good Cuban band leader but has a talented wife as well.

Lucy, look at me!

(Lucy turns to look straight at Ethel)

How many times are you gonna try this same stunt? It never works. And you always end up with egg on your face. Never fails.

Well, this time I have a secret weapon that will help me be in the dancer line-up.

OK, let's hear it.

Here's what I have come up with. I act like I am going to, as you said, just be a participant in the ceremony. I will take a seat and just sit for a few minutes. But, when nobody noticies, I will pretend to have a cough and get up to "go get water". While I am out of sight, I will take off my dress and then be in a costume like the dancers will wear. Then, I will just hop into their line-up when they go on stage.

That's it?

Yes. Nice, huh?

How are you going to know what type of costume to wear under your dress? Those girls could be wearing anything! You have about a 0% chance of chosing anything that even remotely resembles what they will wear.

Oh yeah.

Ethel, why did you have to spoil my plan?

Lucy, after, what is it, about 6 years now, of scheming to do something a little shady to horn in on some Ricky-centered event, you can't learn that none of them EVER work?

Ethel, why don't you kick me while I'm down?

Hey, I'm just trying to prevent you from making a top-shelf fool of yourself.

How about, instead of a costume under my dress, I have just a wetsuit?

Lucy, do you feel alright? How about I take your temperature? You seem all confused. Maybe you have had one of those strokes.

So the wetsuit idea is not good either?

Lucy, sit down. Let's see if we can get you cooled off.

ETHEL MOVES LUCY TO A SOFA AND HELPS HER DOWN TO A PRONE ATTITUDE,

Ethel, I think I am plum out of gas.

Maybe Fred can help. I'll call him. He's run out of gas many times.

Ethel, You are a Godsend. Honest. Just think what a fool I could have made out of myself had I followed my original scheme.

(Ethel is preoccupied scratching her foot)

Did you say something?