GINGER IS MASSAGING HER FESTERING BOIL-LIKE LESION AND MOANING IN PAIN.

MARY ANN KNOCKS ON HER DOOR, THEN COMES IN.

Ginger? What's the matter?

GINGER HIKES UP HER DRESS.

Oww! This place right here on my leg is killing me!

Whoa! What the heck is that?!

I don't know, but it's really killing me! Oooch!

Looks like a spider bite. Have you been lying in the jungle a lot?

GINGER JUST LOOKS AT MARY ANN.

Well, I don't know.

You movie star people do a lot of strange things, I am told.

Told by who? The press?

Enquirer.

Yeah, and aren't they the people who said I disappeared in a space ship when we got stranded here?

I don't know. I haven't read that paper since, well, we got stranded here.

Oh yeah.

(beat)

Well, they print anything.

Getting back to your sore place ... have you talked to the professor? He might be kinda like a doctor.

I can't show him this. Look how much of my leg I'd have to expose!

Your're an actress. Can't you just pretend he is a doctor? You would show a doctor your leg, right?

Yeah, maybe that would work.

(thinking more)

OK, yeah. Please do go get him.

Sure.

MARY ANN TROTS OFF TO FETCH THE PROFESSOR. IN JUST A FEW MINUTES, SHE IS BACK WITH THE PROFESSOR IN TOW.

Ginger, I've got the Professor. See?

Not much time for me to get in character, was it Mary Ann?

(continuing anyway)

Hello Dr. Can you take a look at my sore place ...

(thinking)

Dr.?

GINGER HIKES HER DRESS UP TO EXPOSE MUCH SKIN.

.... here way up on my right thigh?

(to himself)

Mama mia!

(grins broadly)

Dr.? ... Professor?

(continuing)

Oh, yes ...

THE PROFESSOR IS POINTING TO GINGER'S SORE

What the heck is that?

I was hoping you could tell me!

I do believe this is a spider bite. Or a boil thingy.

(thinking)

You been lying around in the bushes a lot lately? I mean, in the jungle?

Again, no!

(caught off-guard)

Whoa! Why the hostility?

It's just that Mary Ann asked me the same stupid question not 5 minutes ago.

Well, then if it isn't a spider bite, then it must be a boil thingy.

Professor, what is a thingy?

Dr.

OK. Dr. What is a thingy?

It's a place. A sore place. A carbuncle type deal.

(bending over, looking at the lesion real hard)

How long has it been there? I mean right there, way up on your, ah, bare leg and all?

(getting shaky)

Oh, I guess about 2 days.

Uh huh. I see.

(to himself)

Boy do I see!

What did you say?

Oh, nothing.

(beat)

Mary Ann, can you get me a number 5 needle and some gauze?

(with attitude)

You mean from our well-stocked medicine cabinet?

Oh yes, that's right. We have none of that here.

Well, then, how about a porcupine quill and a large leaf?

Well, I'll try. Be right back.

Ooo. Professor - Dr. - will this hurt?

No. I won't feel a thing. On you. I mean, you won't feel me. I mean, you will be ok.

Professor, calm down! I mean, will it hurt me?

I hope not.

MARY ANN HAS RETURNED WITH A SHARP THORN AND A LEAF.

A dingleberry bush thorn??

A quill would have been better.

("get real" expression)

Sorry, I was all out of porcupines.

Well, if we must...

THE PROFESSOR POKES GINGER'S SORE SPOT WITH THE THORN AND A STRAND OF PUSS IMMEDIATELY SHOOTS OUT.

Eww! What was that?

I don't know!

(beat)

You know, Ginger, on second thought, maybe you ought to see the island witch doctor.

JUST THEN, A MAN BEARING A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO WALLY COX ENTERS THE SCENE FROM THE LEFT.

I'm sorry, who might you be?