JOHN MURPHY, CEO OF RE-IMAGINED CINEMA, HAS CALLED AN INITIAL MEETING TO INTRODUCE TO HIS STAFF THEIR LATEST PROJECT.

Ok, people, the movie we will modify this week is the Clint Eastwood semi-classic, "The Outlaw Josey Wales". Our task is, as usual, to punch up the dialog and/or the character names/actions to make, essentially, a new movie. I want to especially concentrate on the Indian details for now.

(beat)

So, let's go around the room to get your immediate suggestions. Often those are the best, anyway.

(beat)

OK ... Bob ...

Well, one thing I have always wondered about that movie is why, with the bullets flying when Eastwood is firing the Gatling gun from inside that covered wagon, only the bad guys are killed. Maybe -

Bob? I said we are concentrating on changes related to Indians. Were there any Indians in those scenes?

I don't think so.

Right.

(beat)

Got any other ideas right now?

Well, ... I guess not.

(to Bob in whisper)

Good one, Bob!

OK, Harry?

OK, I think "Ten Bears" should be the first to have his moniker replaced. If it was up to me, the chief will henceforth be known as, "Avogadro's Number of Bears".

Avogadro?

(beat)

You know, 6.022 x 10²³.

Oh! Well, I don't know why I didn't see that!

(beat)

Are you for real?

Sure.

(beat)

Yes, we could change his name to 11 Bears, or even 20 Bears. But, why not jump to an extremely high number of bears right off the bat?

So then why not, "Infinite Number of Bears", then?

(chuckling a little)

Mr. Murphy, can you please get serious?

(glancing around the room)

Harry, you get serious or else! Nobody would know what Avogadro's number is! NOBODY!

Well, I just thought (mumble, mumble) ...

Harry, let's have it! A suggestion! Right now!

HARRY WINGS IT IN THE EXTREME.

OK. Since there is really only one Indian whose details we can even talk about, and since a different number of bears is not what you are after for a name change, then, how about the fellow who plays the Ten Bears character be a midget? And name him, 1/4 fill-in-the-blank feared/respected animal?

Harry, I can still remember your first day at work here at Re-Imagine. You were a go-getter and had some great ideas. Now, it's your last day, and you're out of gas. Go home and rest and try another line of work. You're out. Pack up now and leave.

(Murphy calls security)

OK, then how about all of the Indians are recast as aliens and Ten Bears becomes Amal-7, of the 14th system?

That's the Harry I used to know! Great!

Aliens? I could have come up with that!

Then, why didn't you?

(shrinking)

I don't know.