PARKER IS NERVOUSLY FIGETING AS HIS BEST ARTISTS AND COPYRIGHTERS ASSEMBLE FOR THE MEETING.

Guys, thanks for coming. I've got to admit that I've gotten us in a bind here. In exactly 2 days we have to have come up with a smokin' new ad campaign for Fat-Away, the new product from our largest client. Each and every one of you has talent and I need it to be on display - right now!

Mr. Parker, don't worry. We've done this a hundred times. No sweat!

Eh, heh heh. I like that. No sweat. Cute. Too bad that can't be in the ads anywhere, though.

What the - ...? What's this one all about?

Here's the deal. They want a campaign that has NO WORDS! Just pictures. They feel this new drug, or whatever it is, is so potent that no words will be necessary. But that means we've got two days to come up with some visual content that sucks 'em in and sells like we've never had to sell before.

Yeah, there's only so much you can do without words. This may be tough.

It WILL be tough. No doubt. Here's what I think we'll do to start this out. Everything else you are doing stops for now. The Fat-Away concepts take priority. I want each of you to go back to your desks and computers and brainstorm until about 3 PM. We'll meet here again then to see what we've got.

Ah, excuse me, Mr. Parker. Can we make it 2PM? I've got to get my hair done at 3:15.

3PM. Your hair can wait. Or maybe you want to not have to come in tomorrow!

Ah, I was just joking. Can't you tell I was joking? Mr. Parker? Huh?

PARKER LOOKS AT TERRY IN DISBELIEF.

Dismissed. 3PM! Here!

PARKER AND EVERYONE ELSE GETS UP AND LEAVES THE ROOM.

IT'S NOON. BOB IS TALKING TO TERRY, ACROSS THE PARTITION.

Hey, Terry?

Bob?

I'm coming up empty here. Four hours and I got zip! How you doing?

I still can't believe Parker cut me down about the hair appt.

Seriously?!

Huh?

I thought you were kidding. Your job on the line and you're asking to get off early?

Hey, Parker got us in this fix. He can get us out. My roots are showing here!

All I could think to sketch out was some grossly exaggerated 'before' and 'after' pictures.

Booo! Cliche, if anything ever was. You're better than that, Bob.

I'm dying here. Can't get beyond these sketches. They seem natural, but, you're right. They're too on-the-nose and overdone. I'm sure they aren't gonna want to pay us big bucks for something they could have thought up.

TERRY BUMPS HER KNEE HARD ON HER DESK.

OW! Crap, I'm bleeding.

What happened?

The sharp corner on this cheap desk cut me. I'll be back in a minute.

TERRY RUNS OFF TO THE LADIES ROOM.

BOB RARES BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND CLOSES HIS EYES. MINUTES PASS BUT THEN ...

.

(to self)

I've got it!

OK. I hope you all came up with some winners. I'm anxious to see what you've got for me.

PARKER DOESN'T SEE TERRY.

Where's Terry? Why isn't she here? Did she leave?

Oh yeah. About mid-day she said she cut herself and I never saw her after that.

Cut herself?! That's rich! I can't believe she did it!

Really. She said she cut herself.

She did. Cut herself right out of a job! Well, we've got to move on. Let's so around the room and see what you've come up with.

(beat)

Willy? Whatcha got for me?

I thought long and hard but came up empty. The only thing I could kind of begin to flesh out was some sort of exaggerated 'before' and 'after' photo group that wouldn't be able to be ignored. Some hugely overweight countrified mama in ratty, tight clothes barely able to walk shown right next to this gorgeous, slim fox also about to bust out of her clothes.

Willy? I pay you good dough. I expect good development from you. That stunk. If I went to the client with something like that they'd laugh. And our dealings with them would be kaputski! Over! Leave this room right now and come back to me personally when you have a good idea.

WILLY LEAVES WITH WORRY WRITTEN ALL OVER HIS FACE.

Bob, since Terry has chosen to make a career change today, you're next. Let's see your ideas.

Before I start, I'd like to reiterate your response about what Willy proposed. Pitiful!

OK. What do you have for me?

At first, I too could only see in my mind some sort of, perhaps more veiled, 'before' and 'after' images. I was trying to take them forward, when it hit me: Why do our proposed images need to say anything directly about the product? Why not just be more surreptitious?

I'm not following this...

The classical 'before' and 'after' images show a dull, dejected fat person weighing perhaps three times what they ought to weigh. The 'after' one shows, like Willy said, a slim person, usually holding out their pants to show how immense they used to be. Well, I thought, why not have a similar pair of photos but with six or seven people in the pair of pants the fat person used to wear? Each of these people is happy and, by the way, nude.

Hold it! Hold it. Nude??? Are you kidding?

Did I say nude? I meant nekkid!

Bob!

What? It's never been tried. I know, I know. The print ads might need to get put in some kids magazine. But, nobody ever got rich selling to kids. We need to target those who really care about their weight - middle age guys who still have their hair. They're the ones who see themselves as playboys. Nudity appeals to them. Take it from me. I know.

Bob, this is digging a deeper and deeper end-of-career hole for you, I'm afraid. You better bag this idea while you still have your parking spot, if you get my drift.

That's it! Drift!

What?

Don't you see?! The after photo doesn't need to have the nudity and multiple thin people in the fat guy's pants. Instead of those nude people, we have a set of photoshopped fumes rising from the fat person's pants as they are held out to show the previous fat person's size. It shows that not only was the fat person grossly overweight but that they stunk, with a capital S.

I don't know. I don't feel it's right. No pizzaz! Still weak and overdone - except the fumes thing. And even that's a little too gross.

Well, the only other idea I had was one Terry suggested before she left. In frame #1, have a large platter of pork, the pig's head and all, just sitting on an otherwise bare table, with passover decorations evident in the background. A family of overweight Hebrew people stare with empty expressions at the platter. In frame #2 a small child has pulled out a photo of her pet lamb and salivates over the culinery possibilities.

Bob, please join me tomorrow, bright and early, at the unemployment office. We turn a page!