June, did you press my black suit like I told you to?

(distracted, reading some pamphlet)

What's that?

Hey! June! Did you press my black suit or not? I've got an important meeting with the home office's accountant honcho and I don't want to look like I just rolled out of bed. If you get my drift.

Drift?! What?

(beat)

Dear, we never got to the bottom line on the Beaver's James Brown obsession, even though I did begin to realize the attraction, what with the screaming and potent horns and all.

Dear, can we discuss this when I get home? I'm in a real hurry.

Hello? .... Oh hi, Fred. ... Yes, Fred, the old squire is on his way out. Ward tells me that you two are meeting an important accountant today. Are you meeting him for lunch? ... Oh? ... The accountant is a woman? ... What? ... She's a real looker? ... I see. ... You'd like to check HER what? ... Why, Fred, I'm ashamed of you talking so lewdly this early in the morning ... Yes, goodbye Fred.

June, where is my grey Stetson?

It's at the cleaners. I spilled something on it. Sorry.

(grinning to herself)

(peeved)

Not my good hat, June!?

I'm afraid so, dear. I was using it to catch the drippings during my frontier-like attempt to turn hog renderings into tasty sausage the other day.

I see.

(beat)

Well, I'm out of here. Wish me well in my boring meeting.

Right. Good luck in your stuffy old meeting with the stuffy old accountant. I hope he doesn't get too bossy for you and Fred. Like some old - woman!

(Ward is caught)

Ah, you know about the female accountant?

Oh Ward, how could you! Not only do I know about her but Fred has already told me of the licentious jokes you two plan to crack in her presence. I just hope she doesn't hear any of that awful talk.

I'm beginning to hear a real late model Imperial idling in the garage, if you get my drift!