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Wednesday July 10, 2024


MORNING
9AM MY FAVORITE MARTIAN - Comedy, 30 min.
Tim and the Martian scheme to stage a gas station hold-up. Martian crowbar technology allowed an easy and boring job.

AFTERNOON
4PM FORREST GUMP - Drama, 30 min.
Gump gets wind of Lt. Dan's plan to diversify into the fumigation business.

FORREST GUMP

"Bugging Out"

 

FADE IN: JENNY #4 DECK, DAY

GUMP

Lt. Dan, I know I am not a smart man, but I think you may be trying to pull a fast one on me.

LT. DAN

Gump, what are you talking about?

GUMP

Remember when I suggested we get into the eel business and you totally quashed the idea?

LT. DAN

Yeah, I b'lieve I do.

GUMP

And, you said that my idea about moving out of the shrimp business would be insane?

LT. DAN

Yeah, I b'lieve I do.

Your point is?

GUMP

My mama always said, stupid is as stupid does.

LT. DAN

Meaning? ...

GUMP

I think it means that your latest secret effort to use our profits to start some type of bug spray business is so unlike a box of chocolates, I don't even have an appropriate analogy.

LT. DAN

Gump, I'm not sure what you mean, but when I saw the opportunity to buy into this small-time fumigation outfit, I took it.

GUMP

But you used my money too, right?

LT. DAN

I thought I had carte blanche to do whatever I thought could increase our bottom line. So, I used our money.

GUMP

I'm not a smart man, but I would like to know: Has that bug spray business done well?

LT. DAN

What if I told you we have the Orkin folks shaking in their boots?

GUMP

Should I think that was a good thing?

LT. DAN

Well, I do. In fact, I am about to sign an agreement to just sell all of our shrimp boats and business to some organization named Shigosowi Ltd. It's a Chineese conglomerate. A holding company, if you will.

GUMP

Lt. Dan, I repeat: I am not a smart man. If I will what?

LT. DAN

Shigosowi will take over Bubba Gump and we just sit back and watch each of our stock portfolios swell to the size of a your old friend, Bubba.

GUMP

Lt. Dan, it's not nice to make fun of the departed.

LT. DAN

Sorry, Gump. I thought he was purely old news by now.

GUMP
(laughing)

How could there be old, news, Lt. Dan? Old, new. See my point? You lost me.

FADE OUT:

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.