ANDY AND BARNEY ARE IN THE JAILHOUSE DISCUSSING THE UPCOMING SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY THE TOWN IS PLANNING FOR FLOYD.

You know, Ange, I don't know how we're going to get the whole town to keep quiet on this big surprise.

Well, everyone but Floyd will know. And, there are a lot of lips to have to stay sealed. But, you're right about that. Hard to keep this secret.

(smiling still)

It seems almost impossible that there won't be someone who will spill the beans.

(grinning)

That's the kind of thing you usually do, Barn!

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Well, pretend all you want. If we can figure out how to keep your lips sealed, maybe there is a chance of a real surprise.

(still grinning)

(getting mad, shouting)

OK! OK! How 'bout I just leave town for a while?! Will that make everyone happy?!

Barney, just calm down. Now, sit down here and help me figure out how many chairs we'll need for everybody.

(reluctantly)

Well, ok. We'll probably need more than we have over at the town hall. What if we run out?

JUST THEN OPIE COMES IN THE JAILHOUSE FRONT DOOR.

Hi Pa. Hi Barney. What is all the stink happening over near the barber shop?

ANDY AND BARNEY BRUSH LITTLE OPIE TO THE SIDE AND RUSH OUT THE DOOR.

(running)

Barney, if Floyd is in the middle of this, please be easy on him. He's turning 80.

(running)

I think I see Floyd on the ground!

ANDY AND BARNEY ARRIVE AT THE CROWD.

(pushing into the middle of the people)

What's going on here?

(seeing Floyd lying on the ground)

Floyd! What's wrong?!

Well, Andy, someone came over to the shop a few minutes ago and told me the whole town was planning a surprise birthday party for me! I think I almost conked out!

(to Andy)

Andy, you know I was with you, so I didn't tell him.

(attention to Floyd)

Floyd, can you get up?

I think so.

PEOPLE HELP FLOYD GET UP FROM THE SIDEWALK.

(to the crowd)

OK, now who was the big mouth? Who told Floyd about his surprise party we were planning?

(stepping up)

I cannot tell a lie, Barney. I told him.

(turning to Aunt Bee)

Aunt Bee, why did you want to spoil Floyd's big surprise?

Because if I wasn't given a surprise party when I turned 80, then neither is anybody else in this town!

THE CROWD IS GETTING RESENTFUL AND IS TURNING ON AUNT BEE.

Aunt Bee, I'd say you better run while you can. There are a lot of people here who will likely want to string you up for doing this and for being so vendictive about it.

(shouting to the crowd)

OK, everybody! Who want's Bee Taylor's head on a plate?!

THE CROWD GETS BEHIND BARNEY AND IS YELLING "YEAH".

ANDY SUDDENLY STANDS UP AND POINTS UPWARD TO DIVERT THE CROWD'S ATTENTION SHOUTING.

LOOK, IT'S HALLEY'S COMET!

(turning to his aunt)

Run, Aunt Bee, run! This won't buy you much time, but git!

BEE WADDLES AWAY FROM THE DIVERTED CROWD.

AFTER 10 MINUTES THE CROWD TIRES OF SEARCHING THE DAYTIME SKY FOR THE COMET.

(realizing...)

Hey! Where'd she go?

THE CROWD HAS GROWN BORED AND HAS MOSTLY DISPERSED.

(trying to spin up the remaining few)

Quick, everybody, let's get that old bag!

That's enough, Barney! Leave that bitter old lady be.

OTIS IS SHOWN SHAKING HIS HEAD, COMING OUT OF A DREAM.

(becoming disoriented and afraid)

Andy! ANDY!

ANDY RUSHES OVER TO OTIS'S CELL.

What's wrong Otis? What?

Oh, man. I just had the weirdest dream. Aunt Bee caused Floyd to faint and fall down ... It was awful! Awful, I tell ya.

Otis, have you switched moonshine suppliers or something?

No. And in this dream, Aunt Bee didn't even resort to wearing her geisha girl outfit.

Well, that's a relief.

BOTH MEN CHUCKLE.