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Saturday July 20, 2024


EARLY
4AM BOBBY, THE WONDER HORSE - Movie, 2 hr.
Bobby the wonder horse teams up with Dabo the Donkey to create a Francis the talking mule look-alike. The inside scoop on how germ cells from different species can combine is broached cautiously. Lame mule puns are peppered throughout the film, to no effect.

AFTERNOON
5PM STAR TREK - Science fiction, 1 hr.
Spock has a vision about the planet the Enterprise is to visit.

STAR TREK

"Not Clearly"

 

SPOCK IS ON THE BRIDGE MULLING OVER WHETHER HE SHOULD INFORM CAPTAIN KIRK ABOUT HIS PREVIOUOS NIGHT'S VISION.

KIRK

Mr. Spock, you are being very quiet today. Anything bothering you?

SPOCK LOOKS CONCERNED.

SPOCK

Captain, I must inform you and all those within the sound of my voice that the vision I had last night portends doom for our upcoming visit to Tama-3.

KIRK

More? ...

SPOCK

Well, what I saw was a situation on the planet's surface that would spell the end for any landing party we send there.

KIRK

How so, Mr. Spock?

SPOCK

I could see in my vision that the Tama-3 welcoming committee was actually a hostile group whose sole purpose was to gain the advantage of the Enterprise contingent, take them hostage and then demand we beam down our entire transporter system for them to use at their pleasure.

KIRK
(looking confused)

How would we beam down the thing that beams things down?

SPOCK

I do not know, Captain. Perhaps we are not meant to understand.

KIRK

What kind of an answer is that?! I, Captain James T. Kirk, refuse to accept that supposition.

SPOCK

Captain, I was merely offering a possibility.

KIRK

Do you know of any way we could, even if we desired such, which we do not, beam to anyone the system itself that does the beaming?

SPOCK

Captain. I believe you have entered a circular argument.

KIRK

What about that Vulcan mind thing?

SPOCK

Mind meld?

KIRK

Yes. Mind meld. Is it possible to use that on those Tama-3 beings you had a vision of?

SPOCK

The vision was not clear on those beings' susceptibilities.

KIRK
(looking confused, then at director)

Is all of this nonsense really in this script?

DIRECTOR

Not the part about the circular argument.

KIRK

I knew it!

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.