JONAS PRUITT, THE LAST SURVIVING PERSON IN TOWN SLIDES INTO A DEEP, DARK CAVE.

(to anyone listening)

HELLO! ... IS ANYONE THERE?

Jonas Pruit. The last man standing in this small Kansas town after both sides have launched their nuclear missiles. He's last, and he's lost. He will soon figure out he has but a day's rations and no way to light his way. He only knows about his lack of rations because the candy he must subsist on contains glow-in-the-dark strands of sugary gum. Did I say he was lost? He is lost.

Hey! Where am I? I was minding my own business when I slipped into this hole. Now it's dark, cold and I have no light, except the weak glow from this candy in my hand.

I talked about that already.

Oh.

(continuing to himself)

I should probably try to ration this candy to last as long as I can. But, it's so sugary!

I said that already also!

I'm really at a loss to know what to say or do next. Nobody can even see me!

PRUITT, FOR THE NEXT ALMOST 55 MINUTES, MOVES SLOWLY IN THE DARKNESS, BUMPING INTO WET, HARD THINGS. VERY BORING.

(with a final attitude)

Jonas Pruitt. Alone and afraid. In the dark. Maybe there will be a rescue. Maybe the underground gods have other plans. In any event, his soul will find a new place to reside, as he knocks on the door of, ... The Twilight Zone!

I can't see!

(screaming)

IS ANYBODY THERE?

My candy glow thing has faded out!

Sorry, Jonas. I ended the show already. Our hour is up.

Whaaaaat?!