This is the city, Los Angeles, California.

There is car theft and there is car theft. Not all thievery is bad thievery. And, not all theft is bad theft. That's where I come on. I carry a badge!

Joe, seems like you were bumping up against the senseless.

You wanna do it next time?

CONSPICUOUS SILENCE.

I didn't think so!

Officer Bill Gannon and I were working the daywatch out of the robbery division. We had just finished an egg salad on wheat and wiped our mouthes when we got a call from the Captain.

(Joe on the phone)

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Yes

Nooooo!

(expectantly agitated)

What is he saying? What is he saying?

(covering the phone mouthpiece)

Bill, now don't you think I'll tell you when I finish?!

(goes back to the phone call)

Yes.

Yes. Yes

Yes.

Yes.

Ok. Bye. What? Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Ok. Bye.

(hangs up phone)

Well?

The Captain wants us to get him a BLT on rye next time!

BOTH MEN ARE SHOWN SHAKING THEIR HEADS "YES". SECONDS LATER THEY BOTH STAND UP AND WALK OVER TO THE DAYWATCH "IN" BASKET AND PULL THE CASE ON THE TOP OF THE STACK.

TO HIMSELF, JOE READS ABOUT THE CASE.

Well, what does it say?

Something about a little boy throwing a lady's purse into the river. I don't think I like this one.

How is this robbery anyway?

Why don't we try again.

BOTH MEN ARE SHOWN SHAKING THEIR HEADS "YES".

JOE PUTS THE CASE DESCRIPTION AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PILE AND DRAWS OUT ANOTHER ONE.

(reading aloud)

This one concerns a lawyer who stole the retirement fund from his cross-town competitor.

Really?

(looking blankly at Bill)

That's what it says!

This one OK with you, Bill?

I guess.

You know, I was just thinking about that sandwich we just finished eating. If we had gotten the tuna salad on sourdough. I'll bet we could have saved a dime or two. What do you think, Joe?

(Joe is shown shaking his head in disbelief.)

Let's go.

THE OFFICERS ARE ABOUT READY TO LEAVE WHEN THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN. JOE PICKS IT UP.

Hello?

Yes, Captain?

You say the lawyer we are going to check out is sick?

Oh. Slick!

He's a procecutor who can confuse the issues?

OK.

OK.

Say what to him?

All of that?

Yes, I think I've got it.

Repeat it, now?

OK.

Proecutors may argue in closing only facts proved at trial and reasonable inferences therefrom. And everyone knows the old phrase that "questions are not evidence." So, if there is no proof of that conviction, how then may a prosecutor argue "you can't believe or rely on the character witness since they never heard of the defendant's earlier conviction." The "conviction" that there is no proof of.

Yes. I will speak clearly to him.

No, I won't forget any of that.

Goodbye, sir.

What was that all about?

Now, Bill, don't you think I will tell you when I get off the phone?

You are off the phone!

Oh yeah.

Well, near as I can figure, the lawyer we are gonna go see is someone who not only has stolen a retirement account's funds but also can use legaleese so slick that nobody can know what he is talking about.

Like that stuff you repeated to the Captain?

Exactly. That stuff is what I am supposed to remember and say to him today.

Hmm. I don't know about that...

(rubbing his chin)

Yeah ... what to do? ...

(looking defeated)

Hey! What's stopping us from just picking another case to take on today?

(shrugging his shoulders, smiling)

Nothing, I guess!

JOE GATHERS THE PREVIOUSLY PULLED CASE'S PAPERWORK BACK INTO ITS FOLDER, SLIDES IT BACK ON THE STACK BOTTOM AND PICKS ANOTHER ONE.

Hmm. This one is about some lady who stole a designer toilet seat from Macy's.

(already getting up to go)

I vote a big YES!

(pointing to the door)

Hit it!