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Sunday July 28, 2024


EARLY
4:30 FARM STUFF - Chicken Husbandry, 1 hr.
Mr. Bob wanders about and gives the gay perspective on things related to raising chickens. Mr. Ken tags along.

MORNING
9:30 BONANZA - Drama, 1 hr.
Hoss invests more Ponderosa money in an enterprise whose only intent is looking for productive divining rods in the scrub brush on the back forty at the Ponderosa and then marketing them to Virginia City tourists.

AFTERNOON
3:30 GILLIGAN'S ISLAND - Comedy, 30 min.
The Howells decide to split up.

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND

"I, Mr. Magoo"

 

FADE IN: INT. THE HOWELL'S HUT - DAY

THURSTON HOWELL IS ANGRILY STARING AT HIS WIFE, LOVEY.

MR. HOWELL

So, Lovey, you think that, after all these years, you can just decide that our marriage, which, by the way, always included extravagances funded by me and my business, can be just tossed aside - POOF! - just like that?

LOVEY

Thurston, we both know you have been unfaithful to me. Now, just admit it!

MR. HOWELL

What?! Unfaithful with who? Mary Ann? Ginger?

LOVEY

You know exactly who.

MR. HOWELL

Those are the only other females on this island!

LOVEY

Aren't you forgetting your loving little "mermaid", as I have heard you call him?

MR. HOWELL

What are you even talking about?

LOVEY

I heard you talking in your sleep the other night. You said, and I quote, "Oh Gilligan, what if my wife finds out?".

Now! Can you deny that?!

MR. HOWELL

I was asleep. Who knows what nonsense I could say while I am asleep!

LOVEY

Well, I've seen the way you look at Gilligan.

MR. HOWELL

And, how is that?

LOVEY

Like he has something you want. Need I say more?

MR. HOWELL

Only if you want me to know what you're talking about!

LOVEY

OK, here it is. I think you want his attention, BIG TIME! There!

MR. HOWELL

Are you through? Are you through with this nonsense?

LOVEY

Well, I guess. But, how can you rebut what I have said?

MR. HOWELL

I'll have you know that I gave up a lucrative cartooning enterprise to take a beautiful but needy person like you on as a wife.

"Oh, Magoo, you've done it again!"

If you don't hush this talk, I will reduce your allowance to near $0, so help me!

LOVEY

What?

MR. HOWELL

That's enough, Lovey.

LOVEY

What?

MR. HOWELL

I said, that's enough.

LOVEY

You mean, near $0 is enough?

MR. HOWELL
(issues the "duh" expression)

What do you need money for here, anyway? Nothing to buy or barter for.

And you have some nerve trying to threaten a divorce! And, Gilligan?? Gilligan is a bufoon of the first magnitude.

And, I would like to say -

JUST THEN, A MAN BEARING A STRONG RESEMBLANCE TO WALLY COX ENTERS THE SCENE FROM THE LEFT.

LOVEY

I'm sorry, who might you be?

FADE OUT:

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.