Well, it has finally happened.

What has finally happened?

We had to watch a movie that, before the first images got to my screen, I was asleep.

You mean, you didn't see any of it?

None. And, I didn't even want to rewind the tape to try to watch it. I thought I'd rely on your review this time.

Oh, well, in that case, I will give you my thoughts.

While this movie wasn't the absolute worst I have seen, it did come close.

If I had to hear, "did so", "did not" back and forths one more time I told myself I would quit my job here and go into something else, like coal mining.

Coal mining?

Well, I had to pick something to show how much I hated that section of this film.

I guess I just don't get your logic there.

Nevertheless, this lame dad was so inept at everything from changing diapers to preparing a milk bottle to helping them color, it was unbeliebable. I think the guy never watched his poor wife do anything.

But, were his missteps humorous?

Not a one! The whole two-hour film was without a single joke. I guess it was just too real. Like a documentary thing.

Whoa! Man am I glad I didn't waste my time.

So, maybe next time I can goof off and not do my job, huh?

Wait a second. I didn't mean to fall asleep. It just happened.

So you say. OK, I will make a deal with you: the next film we even suspect will be real lame, I get to only watch half.

Seems reasonable. Deal.

I pick which half, too.

Well, until next time, when we will discuss another obscure film I'll say, so long from Junior Peabody ...

... And Joe-Bob Lewellyn.