CRF


	EARLY

5AM	THE KINDERGARTEN FAIRY - School Reality, 1 hr. Miss Farmer's class is forced to watch a black and white documentary about iron ore extraction before and after 1900. At intermission, a fifth-grader dressed as the tooth fairy makes a brief appearance to hand out Petit and Petit Dentistry, Inc ice cream cone vouchers.

	MORNING

7AM	THE BAD, THE GOOD AND THE UNATTRACTIVE - Movie, 2 hr. A send-up of the classic spaghetti western that helped launch Clint Eastwood's big screen career. This version has the man with no name (this time, Butch Buchinski) wandering about in the heat and humidity of a Port Arthur, TX summer wearing a poncho, a heavy shirt and long, itchy trousers. Several ill-tempered exchanges with strangers are surely due more to the weather and improper attire than anything else.

	AFTERNOON

4PM	CHICHEN SEXING MADE EASY - Fowl Stuff, 2 hr. Farmer Bob demonstrates his proficiency in sorting four large boxes full of baby chicks by gender in under a minute. His task is made more difficult as he is blindfolded and must labor while being blasted with the classic sound tracks from old Kentucky Fried Chicken ads.

	EVENING

10PM	HUNTING FOR RACCOONS - Hunting Discourse, 4 hr. Zero Pitts and Buster Fish go into great detail recounting a raccoon hunt tale. It seems they were friends with someone who had actually been with Jerry Clower on his infamous "Knock him out, John!" coon hunt that turned into, so the story goes, a Linx hunt. In particular, the game warden in the story, according to the friend, was actually a Liberty, MS paint salesman, thus bringing into suspect the whole humorous Clower anecdote.