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Sunday August 4, 2024


MORNING
8:30 NOAH AND THE RAINY WEATHER - Religious Thriller, 5 hr.
A reinactment of Noah and his ark when the flood was just starting asks many significant questions and speculates on their answers. Who kept apart the animals that would have fought? How were they kept apart? Cages? Fences? What about the animals that live under water? Who cooked for Noah and his bunch? What did they cook - extra animals?
9AM HIGH STAKES OLD MAID - Game Show, 30 min.
Six couples from the outlying regions of Denver come together to wager their life savings in a round robin game of Old Maid. Fancy Dan emcees the festivities.

AFTERNOON
2:30 HAWAII FIVE-0 - Drama, 1 hr.
McGarrett thinks his staff has become too "Wo Fat" conscious.

HAWAII FIVE-0

"Woolworth's Fat"

 

FADE IN:

INT. STEVE MCGARRETT'S OFFICE

STEVE MCGARRETT IS POLISHING AN AWARD HE HAS RECENTLY RECEIVED.

THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

MCGARRETT

Yes? Come in.

DANNO ENTERS THE ROOM.

DANNO

Steve, I have some important news for you.

MCGARRETT

More important than the shine on this solid brass trophy I have here, Danno?

DANNO

Well, perhaps not, but it's important.

MCGARRETT

Well, what's the big important news?

DANNO

We have received word that Wo Fat has been seen in a Woolworth's on the big island.

MCGARRETT

So what?! Why is that important?

DANNO

Ah, maybe because he is supposed to be in, ... JAIL!?

MCGARRETT

Jail? Now, let's see. ... Who was it that put Mr. Wo Fat in the klink?

DANNO

... Well, I guess you did, Steve.

MCGARRETT

And, why is he now not in jail?

DANNO

Well, that's the question we need to answer.

MCGARRETT

Who spotted this man?

DANNO

A reliable person did.

MCGARRETT

As reliable as, oh, say, this shiny brass trophy I have here? Was this person that reliable, Danno?

DANNO IS LOOKING AT MCGARRETT AS IF HE HAS 3 HEADS.

DANNO

Your mistress, Steve. Your mistress saw him. ... Candy Samples?

MCGARRETT

Oh, her. She and I are no longer, ah, associated. So, reliable? I think not.

DANNO

Why don't we just call the Woolworth's and see if they saw him there?

MCGARRETT

OK by me.

DANNO PICKS UP A PHONE AND DIALS THE STORE.

DANNO

Ah, is this the Woolworth's on the big island?

Oh, it's on the other island.

Well, can you transfer the call?

Oh, you can't.

OK. Thank you.

Steve, they weren't the right Woolworth's.

MCGARRETT

I gathered that, Danno. Look up the right number and call again.

DANNO GRABS THE BIG ISLAND PHONE BOOK AND LOOKS UP THE NUMBER, THEN DIALS THE PHONE.

DANNO

Ah, yes, is this the Woolworth's on the big island?

OK. Good. Can I speak to the manager please? This is the police.

Thanks.

Hello. Is this the manager of the Woolworth's on the big island?

Good. I wonder if you can tell me whether a Mr. Wo Fat was in your store either today or yesterday.

He was? Great. Thanks. Goodbye.

(to McGarrett)

Looks like your ex-mistress Ms. Daniels was right after all.

MCGARRETT

If he was in that store, and I know it's a million-to-one shot, but maybe he is not in jail any more!

DANNO

Do you mean, maybe he got out of jail legitimately, somehow?

MCGARRETT

Who?

DANNO

Fat!

MCGARRETT

See, Danno. It stands to reason. Wo Fat is seen in a Woolworth's but everyone would have thought he would be behind bars. It's the perfect ruse for such a slick mind.

DANNO

Steve, what are you even talking about?

MCGARRETT

Danno, please get me four of those yellow pills from the bottle there on my desk. Quickly!

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.