This is the city, Los Angeles, California.

People come and people go. People stay and people move away. People are kind and observe the laws and other people choose to do things another way, entirely. That's where I come in. I carry a badge!

Short and sweet, Joe. I like it. Better than before, anyway.

Thanks. I think.

Officer Bill Gannon and I were working the daywatch out of the bunko division.

We had just finished a tuna salad on sourdough and wiped our mouthes when we got a call from the Captain.

(Joe on the phone)

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Yes

Nooooo! Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Yes

(expectantly agitated)

What is he saying? What is he saying?

(covering the phone mouthpiece)

Bill, now don't you think I'll tell you when I finish?!

(goes back to the phone call)

Yes.

Yes. Yes

Yes.

Yes.

Ok. Bye. What? Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Ok. Bye.

(hangs up phone)

Well?

The Captain wants us to get him a plain hot dog next time! He'll doctor it up later with his own condiments.

BOTH MEN ARE SHOWN SHAKING THEIR HEADS "YES". SECONDS LATER THEY BOTH STAND UP AND WALK OVER TO THE DAYWATCH "IN" BASKET AND PULL THE CASE ON THE TOP OF THE STACK.

TO HIMSELF, JOE READS ABOUT THE CASE.

Well, what does it say?

Says that there is a guy out in Van Nuys who is attempting to scam old ladies out of their life insurance settlements from their dead husbands.

BOTH MEN ARE SHOWN SHAKING THEIR HEADS "NO".

(looking blankly at Bill)

This one OK with you, Bill?

I guess.

You know, I was just thinking about that sandwich we just finished eating. If we had gotten the chicken salad on pumpernikel, we could have saved a dime or two.

And, you may know that the word, Pumpernikel is from the German, pumpern, which means to break wind.

Whaaaaat?

That's what I heard, anyway.

Let's go.

THE OFFICERS ARE ABOUT READY TO LEAVE WHEN THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN. JOE PICKS IT UP.

Hello?

Yes.

Ok. Bye.

What?

Yes

Goodbye, sir.

What was that all about?

Well, the department head over in Malibu said he wanted to provide us with some additional information about this insurance scammer.

So, are we supposed to go there now to talk to him?

The guy didn't say. And, I didn't ask him. I should have asked him! What a dope I am!

Wait a minute. Isn't there a way to call back to the most recent caller?

Oh yeah. Let's see ... Oh! I think it is *67. Try it.

(shrugging his shoulders, smiling)

OK.

JOE DIALS *67 AND, SURE ENOUGH, THE PHONE RINGS.

It's ringing.

Hello?

Is this the Malibu police station?

Oh, the South Central Coin Laundry and Strip Club?

Sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number. Goodbye.

Nice one, Bill!

Oh wait, I think it is *69. Try that one.

(not happy)

JOE DIALS *69 AND, AGAIN, THE PHONE RINGS.

It's ringing.

Hello?

Is this the Malibu police station?

Oh, good.

(Nodding head "yes")

Yeah, this is Joe Friday from downtown. I need to speak to the department head. He called me just a few minutes ago.

Friday.

Downtown. Yeah.

F-R-I-D-A-Y

(Joe covers phone)

What kind of moron am I talking to?!

Yeah, Joe Friday. He called me not 10 minutes ago. About the insurance scammer?

Oh. When will he be back?

He retired? Today? Just now?

He did? Well ... What?

Is there anyone else who could give us the skinny on this scammer that the now-retired department head could have had?

The skinny. The scoop. The inside information we need?

Hello?

Hello?

They just hung up!

(looking at the clock)

Joe, that took so much time it's almost time for lunch. How about that chicken salad on pumpernikel?

I don't know. I've got a boy scout function tonight and I don't need any of that pumpernikel-induced wind breaking spoiling everyone's good time.

Joe, I doubt that the pumpernikel can get through you that fast.

Still ...