A TYPICAL SATURDAY NIGHT IN AN OLD WEST SALOON WITH MANY ROUGH COWBOYS, DUSTY FROM THEIR LONG RIDES, WHOOPING IT UP, DANCING WITH THE BAR-GIRLS AND PLAYING CARDS.

BOB AND HIS BROTHER TOM HAVE BEEN RIDING HERD FOR WEEKS AND ARE READY FOR SOME FUN.

(to the bar tender)

Another drink, barkeep!

A wild night in a Kansas saloon. People having fun. Letting off steam. A cowboy shouts to the bartender to refill his glass of whiskey. He will soon see that, not only will the bartender not reply to him, but he will see that the bartender has been turned into stone. A hard way to go, no pun intended. Heh heh.

It will soon happen that every man and woman in that saloon will have the same fate befall them. Visitors from outter space have intentions incompatible with those enjoying this night.

Hey! Bob said fill his glass! Fill mine, too! Yippeeee!

TOM YANKS ON THE DRESS OF A SALOON GIRL PASSING BY.

Hey, cowboy, looks like you're having a good time!

I am now, sweetie.

(Tom pulls the girl into his lap)

Barkeep! More whiskey!

(turns to see what is taking so long)

Bob and his brother Tom will be waiting a long time for that refill. The aliens about to enter the premises will be short on understanding, at the very least.

A STRANGE GLOW STARTS IN THE NIGHTTIME STREET. EVERYONE IN THE BAR GETS UP TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON.

THE SPACESHIP OPENS AND A STRANGE BEING EMERGES. IT COMES TO THE BAR ENTRANCE, LIFTS WHAT APPEARS TO BE AN ARM AND SHOOTS A BEAM OF SOMETHING AT THE BARTENDER, IMMEDIATELY TURNING HIM INTO WHAT APPEARS TO BE STONE.

What the ... ?

THE BEING MOVES TO NEAR BOB, LIFTS WHAT, AGAIN, APPEARS TO BE AN ARM AND SHOOTS A BEAM OF SOMETHING AT BOB, IMMEDIATELY TURNING HIM INTO WHAT APPEARS TO BE STONE.

(mad at what the alien did to his brother)

Hey, you can't do that to my brother ...

THE BEING SHOOTS A BEAM AT TOM, IMMEDIATELY TURNING HIM INTO STONE.

THE BEING THEN MOVES PARTIALLY UP THE STAIRS, AS IF HE IS HEADED FOR SOME SPECIAL ACTION ON THE SECOND FLOOR, BUT STOPS, TURNS AND BEGINS TO SPEAK.

Earth people. You have been selected to become stones.

Hey, you can't ...

THE BEING SHOOTS A BEAM AT THE COWBOY, IMMEDIATELY TURNING HIM INTO STONE.

Earth people, please line up by the bar so you can be turned to stone more easily.

THE REMAINING NON-STONE PATRONS WILDLY RUN AROUND AND OUT OF THE SALOON.

THE ALIEN SPACE SHIP OUTSIDE HAS STARTED TO HUM. MANY MORE BEINGS EMERGE AND BEGIN SHOOTING BEAMS AT ANYONE MOVING, TURNING THEM INTO, YOU GUESSED IT, STONE.

ALL OF THE RUCKUS HAS WAKED THE TOWN SHERRIF AND HE COMES OUT TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON.

(to anyone nearby)

Hey! What's going on?

Sherrif, the space aliens have turned several people into stone already. Please help us!

AN ALIEN SHOOTS A BEAM AT THE SHERRIF, CHANGING HIM TO STONE.

JUST THEN THE NIGHT STAGECOACH FROM THE NEXT TOWN ARRIVES. THE HORSES PULL THE WAGON UP TO THE SALOON.

AN ALIEN SHOOTS A BEAM AT THE HORSES AND EVERYONE ON THE STAGE.

It can't be stressed enough ... the society that is only bent on partying and drink and women cannot survive. Even if an alien culture is imposed on them they cannot -

(to the director)

Morty, it's not working. None of this makes any sense! Why couldn't we just use the script as I had written it? It was boss.

Boss? OK, Mr. Serling. You talk to the sponsors! They didn't like it. Me? A deigeh hob ich!

Aliens beam people to stone. Aliens eat each other. What do I care? We're losing a lot of time here!

OK, everyone, let's take it from the top. Again! Action! ...