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Friday August 16, 2024


MORNING
10AM NUSERY RHYMES FOR THE DEAF - Hearing-impaired Kids, 1 hr.
James Marx demonstrates, via sign language, a fast-paced edition of Mary Had a Little Lamb. Marx then shows the shortcuts that can be used in signing the most difficult tongue-twisters.

AFTERNOON
2PM MARY TYLER MOORE - Sitcom, 30 min.
Murray is caught plagiarising news verbiage from another of Minneapolis's lesser watched TV channels, thus always having WJM be at least one news cycle behind. Mr. Grant catches him in the act when a South Pacific volcano is reported in the news copy two days after it had happened.

EVENING
10PM GUNSMOKE - Western, 1 hr.
Chester's limp suddenly goes away.

GUNSMOKE

"Chester, the Un-Gimp"

 

INT JAIL HOUSE - DAY

MATT IS DOING PAPERWORK WHEN CHESTER ERRUPTS INTO THE ROOM.

CHESTER

Mr. Dillon! Looka here, no limp!

MATT
(not looking up)

What?

CHESTER

Look at my leg! No limp any more!

MATT

By Jove, you're right!

CHESTER

Jove?

MATT

Just an expression, Chester.

What in tarnation, to use a Doc word, happened to your bum leg?

CHESTER

I don't know! I was just getting out of bed this morning and I happened to reach above my head for my hat, which I had left on the end of my bed, when I felt this twitch in my shoulder and the pain sort of shot down both legs and even made my toenails kind of twitch and then -

MATT

Chester! Enough already. Hey, I'm glad you're fixed now, for whatever reason.

Do you think you feel well enough to ride way out to the Chisolm place to serve some court papers?

CHESTER

Papers? What's going on there?

MATT

Seems Buddy Chisolm tried to steal the deed to the neighboring ranch - you know, the Martin place - and sell off small lots one by one to folks way over in Parson County when their dam broke and flooded so much of the crop land and then those people -

CHESTER

Mr. Dillon! Enough! I'll ride out there.

MATT
(taken aback)

I beg your pardon!?

CHESTER

Well, I can ride. My leg, even before the problem mysteriously vanished, when I was just getting out of bed this morning and I happened to reach above my head for my hat, which I had left on the end of my bed, when I felt this twitch in my shoulder and the pain sort of shot down both legs and even made my toenails kind of twitch and then -

MATT

Git!

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.