CRF


	EARLY

6AM	THEY ARE ME - LAS VEGAS - Pseudo-Science, 1 hr. Black and white film asking the eternal questions: Why are we here? and, When will prices come down? These seemingly unrelated deep questions, of course, have no answers, or, more corerectly, have no "right" answers, but that doesn't stop several Las Vegas psychics from speculating.

	MORNING

8AM	GRAN CARAVAN - Movie, 2 hr. A parody of a classic Clint Eastwood movie, Gran Torino. An aging Korean War vet must face the dilemma of knowing which "XL" minivan package would be best for his soon-to-be-acquired Dodge Grand Caravan. Money is almost no object.

	AFTERNOON

4PM	MAINSTREAM ALLIGATOR HUNT - Live Hunting, 1 hr. The Florida 'Gatormen Hunt Club go all-in for a survial-of-the-fittest naked in-the-water gator hunt in the Everglades. Normal safety rules are tossed aside. All participants on the occasion of bagging a gator must obtain photographic evidence, which, no more than 1 minute before its demise, shows the reptile having been mooned by the hunter at a distance of no more than 4 yards.

	EVENING

9PM	SWORDS A'FLYING - Adult Knife Game, 2 hr. Contestants considering themselves at least amateur sword handlers vie to win the Tupelo Giant Pumpkin slicing event. A round-robin set of "slice-offs" is held in the local fairgrounds. Event winners are those who, while blindfolded, can cut a 500-lb pumpkin into at least 8 slices wherein each slice must contain a number of seeds equal to the average whole-pumpkin number of seeds divided by the number of slices actually cut, plus or minus one standard deviation.

The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.