JACK MCCOY IS READING CASE LAW WHEN HE HAS A BODILY URGE.

(to secretary over intercom)

Ah, Mary, hold all of my calls until I return, please.

Yes, sir. Where are you going?

(dismissively)

Mary, I will be back in a few minutes!

MCCOY LEAVES FOR THE RESTROOM.

MCCOY ENTERS A STALL.

MCCOY STILL CAN HEAR THE OFFICE PERSONNEL TALKING.

Ah, he said he would be back in a few minutes.

(thinking)

Yeah, at least!

MCCOY REGRETS EATING SUCH A LARGE HEAP OF DEEP-FRIED POTATOES LAST EVENING.

(struggling)

Ohhh. Oww! Ohhhhh.

MCCOY HAS SOME DEGREE OF RELIEF BUT IS NOWHERE NEAR READY TO GET UP.

Ah, I don't know if he is in the restroom or not. What did you say? Tell everyone the facilities have no water for the next 2 hours? OK, I will. Thanks.

MINUTES PASS WITH NO REAL END IN SIGHT.

Yes, Mr. Branch, I don't know where Mr. McCoy has gone.

(beat)

Tell him you need him at once? Yes sir. When he comes back I will.

(beat)

Yes, sir, I know the restrooms are out of commission and absolutely nobody can use them. Yes sir.

(thinking)

Uh oh!