JETHRO IS OUT BACK ARGUING WITH GRANNY ABOUT THE BEST SPYING FOOD.

Ah, Granny, your possum kinda hampers my moves with the women a spy has to deal with.

The other day I had to leave the lady I was spying on and find a john, like, right now!

Why you over-grown hillbilly spy, I never heard tell of possum messing anybody up! I guess the crawdad meals I cook get your gizzard all riled up too?

The crawdad is way better. I never have the same trouble. No, unh uh.

GRANNY SITS DOWN TO PONDER THE PROBLEM.

I put the same spices on possums and crawdads. So, the spices cannot be causing the problem. Perhaps it was the environment in which the critter lived.

(beat)

Jethro, where did you say you shot that possum you most recently ate?

Didn't shoot it. Found it.

Found it?

(grinning, feeling caught)

Yeah. Was laying in the road. I just shot it afterward so's you'd think I hunted it.

Well, no wonder you got sick! There's no telling how long that creature had been dead!

No, I know how long it had been dead, cause I was the one who ran over it. That was last week sometime.

Last week?! Why, I oughtta skin you boy! We all could have died eating that bad possum.

Sorry.

OK. Well, ...

(beat)

(out of character)

I'm not sure where this is going, Max. Are you?

Not really.

Irene, can we stick to the script? Maybe we'd all see where this is going.

I can read ahead. Even doing so, I can't see any laughs in the material.

Max?

Ah,

(scanning the script immediately ahead)

Lame. Real lame.

Max, are you a writer?

No.

Irene?

What?

Are you a writer?

No.

Let's just take 5 and gather ourselves, shall we?

THE DIRECTOR WALKS AWAY SHAKING HIS HEAD.

Hey, Irene: How many hillbillies does it take to eat a possum? Two. One to eat the possum and the other to watch out for traffic.

Now, that should have been in the script!

It is. Page 16.

Oh? I hadn't seen that.

IRENE SCANS PAST PAGE 16 IN THE SCRIPT.

And here's another. I guess this is a joke: Why did the possum cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!

(beat)

I don't get it.

And I was in Vaudeville!