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Wednesday November 1, 2023


AFTERNOON
5PM STAR TREK - Science fiction, 1 hr.
The Enterprise finds itself out of fuel.

STAR TREK

"Coasting on Empty"

 

FADE IN: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE

KIRK MAKES AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE ENTIRE CREW

KIRK

Now hear this. Through a twist of fate and some poor calculations by my Exec Officer, the Enterprise is out of fuel and coasting. Normally that would not be so bad but this time we are going to enter the gravitational field of the Tobro Star system and we, in no more than 16 hours, are going to be history. That is all.

SPOCK

Ah, Captain, I hope you were not referring to me when you said the Exec Officer.

KIRK
(glaring at Spock)

Mr. Spock, you are precisely who I was referring to. You and your homemade computer you use for critical calculations.

SPOCK

Captain, I fail to see how impugning my computer makes you feel better.

KIRK

Well, Mr. Spock, it just does.

SPOCK

I see.

(beat)

Well, we now have 15 hours 20 minutes to figure out how to get out of our current dilemma.

KIRK

Indeed, Mr. Spock. I suggest you get going, but on a better computer this time.

KIRK SUMMONS MR. SCOTT ON THE INTERCOM

KIRK

Mr. Scott. Do we have enough impulse power to -

SCOTTY

- Captain! I hardly think this is the time for the use of impulse power. We're all going to die!

KIRK
(glancing boastingly at his crew on the bridge)

That's enough, Mr. Scott.

Lt. Uhura. See if it might be possible to get a starship repair guy out here, pronto.

UHURA

But Captain Kirk. I have no experience dealing with repair men.

KIRK
(annoyed)

Quiet, Lt. Please call the repair guys. Let me worry about dealing with them.

UHURA

But, but, -

KIRK

Lt. Uhura! Call Jake's!

UHURA

Yes sir.

SPOCK

Perhaps I should try to repair it, Captain.

KIRK

You mean, since you caused it in the first place?

SPOCK

So you say.

KIRK

So I say?! Ah, Spock ... Who's the Captain?

SPOCK

You are.

KIRK

Right you are.

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.