Hey, Ricky. Don't you think Ethel is acting awful strange lately.

What do you mean?

I mean, she just stands around and doesn't say anything.

Yeah. And Fred seems odd also. I saw him yesterday when he was fixing the plumbing in 12A. I asked him how he was doing and, if I am not mistaken, he gave me the finger!

What?! Really??

Yes! I believe he did!

Well, that's it! I am going to go talk to Ethel to see what is up with those two.

LUCY LEAVES THEIR APARTMENT AND HEADS FOR THE MERTZES.

LUCY KNOCKS ON ETHEL'S DOOR. FRED ANSWERS THE DOOR.

(coldly)

Hi Lucy.

Hi Fred. Is Ethel here?

Ah, no, she is not here.

Well, can I come in to talk?

What do you want?

Well, to tell you the truth -

- And I want the truth, Lucy!

(Lucy is confounded by the attitude)

Fred? I always tell the truth.

(beat)

Hey, what's with the attitude you and Ethel have been exhibiting lately to Ricky and me? And what in the world is with you giving Ricky the finger the other day?

Hey, he cursed me in that Spanish gibberish he spouts. I had had it. I had to do something. I considered just trotting out my obscene Vaudeville mime act but it wouldn't have been as offensive or as succinct as the finger. A beautifully concise motion. Don't you think?

But, what's with the attitude? Haven't we been friends a while?

If you say so.

How about Ethel? Why is she being catty and cold?

Search me.

Fred!

(beat)

What is going on?

(relenting)

OK! I'll tell you. We found out you two were, on purpose, mailing your rent checks a couple of days late. Fouls up our just-in-time financial model. And we're tired of it!

You figured this out all by yourself?

We did. Ethel helped.

How did Ethel help?

Never mind.

FRED JUST SHUTS THE DOOR.