Now the next thing you people need to remember is that absolutely no cash is accepted by the driver. Ever.

None?

Can you repeat that, please?

I said, none?

Oh. Yeah. None. Only tokens can be accepted on the bus.

But how do they buy the tokens?

You cannot buy the tokens on the bus. No cash is accepted. Buy them from kiosks located at lots of places around town.

(a little confused)

I've never seen one.

Yes, that's right.

(beat)

Can we move on, please?

(beat)

Once the rider is aboard and seated you can move the bus.

Why do you have to wait that long? I've been on plenty of buses that start as soon as the last person gets on.

Beg pardon?

(louder)

I said, why do you have to wait that long? I've been on plenty of buses that start as soon as the last person gets on.

Well, this bus system doesn't work like that. We wait.

(under breath)

That's stupid.

Beg pardon?

I said, "How thoughtful".

Oh, a wise guy, eh?

(beat)

Once the bus is moving, if anyone gets up, there is a button you press that starts an announcement telling everyone to stay seated, "or else!".

Or else what?

Beg pardon?

(louder)

I said, or else what?

Can you please be a little more patient? I am coming to the "or what".

When?

Beg pardon?

(louder)

Hey, man. Are you hard of hearing?

Beg pardon?

Hey, what have I wasted my money on here?!

Beg pardon?