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Thursday November 16, 2023


MORNING
7AM BOB: COWPOKE - Cattle Talk, 1 hr.
Bob Peterson, well known fence mender and bovine story teller, sets the record straight about how and when a cow can be "power branded". Straight man Señor Perez is also present.
9:30 HOLLYWOOD JACKPOT - Game Show, 30 min.
Contestents test their memories of 1930's and 1940's movie plots. Sure-fire entertainment if ever it existed!
10:00 YOU BET YOUR OWN STUFF - Reality Game Show, 30 min.
The studio audience is screened to find any jugglers. Once identified those persons compete in a bowling pin "whirlwind", after wagering their own possessions. More sure-fire entertainment.
10AM MR. ED - Comedy, 30 min.
Wilbur decides to have Ed go shoeless for the summer.

MR. ED

"Barefoot Equine"

 

FADE IN: INT, HORSE BARN

WILBUR WALKS UP TO ED'S STALL.

WILBUR

Ed, I have decided that the upkeep on horseshoes can be reduced by, yes, you guessed it, eliminating your horseshoes. At least for the summer months.

ED

Well, reducing foot comfort ought to be worth more hay, right?

WILBUR
(laughing)

Get real, Ed. Let's get something straight... I call the shots around here. Got it?

ED
(mumbling some comeback)

WILBUR

What was that?

ED

I said, well, Wilbur, if that's the way it has to be.

WILBUR

Don't worry, Ed. It will be OK. Anyway, shoeless is cool!

ED

It is?

WILBUR

Sure. Trust me.

ED

Are you going barefoot also?

WILBUR

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

ED
(showing disgust)

WILBUR BEGINS TO WALK OUT OF THE BARN.

ED TURNS AWAY FROM THE STALL DOOR AND TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO HIS TELEPHONE.

WITH MUCH TROUBLE, ED DIALS THE PHONE.

ED

Hello, is this Sammy Corleone? ... It is? ... Here's my situation. I have a problem horse owner I need help with? ... You can? ... "The Fence" is out and back in action now? Your charges are reasonable? ... OK, I will. Thanks. Bye.

DAYS PASS. THEN A DARK, HUGE OLD BARGE OF A CAR ROLLS UP TO ED'S BARN.

WILBUR AND ED ARE PRESENT.

WILBUR
(to car occupant)

Can I help you, sir?

ED
(interjecting)

Wilbur? ... Meet The Fence. Fence, Wilbur.

ED
(leaning over to The Fence, whispering, pointing to Wilbur)

That's him.

 

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The material published herein is intended to be satire, parody and/or just preposterously ridiculous. The resemblance between any fictitious and real person, place or thing without satirical intent is purely coincidental.