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Friday November 17, 2023


AFTERNOON
4PM SCRIPTED ABSURDITY - Reality, 1 hr.
Captain Kangaroo Bunny Rabbit puppet for sale by some European gentleman.

SCRIPTED ABSURDITY

Bunny Rabbit for sale

 

AN INTERESTED PERSON HAS CALLED THE PARTY WHO IS SELLING BUNNY RABBIT.

CALLER

Hello, is this Mr. Mikkelsen, the seller of the Bunny Rabbit puppet?

MIKKELSEN

Ya, de rabbit. You like to buy?

CALLER

Hold on, sir. I'm just calling to ask you some questions about the puppet and maybe your association with the Kangaroo people.

MIKKELSEN

Is dis de police?

CALLER

No, I'd just like to ask about the Bunny Rabbit puppet.

MIKKELSEN

Ya, de bunny rabbit toy.

CALLER

Yes. Sir, please, if you don't mind, tell me how you came to own the puppet.

MIKKELSEN

I got the rabbit puppet from a friend. He was cleaning out his basement.

CALLER

Sir, are you German, or what?

MIKKELSEN

Ya, shore.

CALLER

What, German?

MIKKELSEN

Svedish. Why do you ask?

CALLER

I don't know. I knew you weren't American. I mean, with the accent and all.

MIKKELSEN

Ya.

CALLER

So, getting back to the hare puppet. Do -

MIKKELSEN

The bunny puppet's hair?

CALLER

No, hare.

MIKKELSEN

No hair. Made of wool.

CALLER

Ok. The rabbit puppet is made of wool. I won't call it a hare any more.

MIKKELSEN

Ya. No hair. Wool.

CALLER

How did you know it was the actual, real Bunny Rabbit puppet? It such an odd-ball thing for anyone to have for sale.

MIKKELSEN

My friend had known Hugh Brannum and he had gotten the puppet and other stuff from him when Brannum retired. There was a lot of other stuff as well.

CALLER

What type of other stuff?

MIKKELSEN

Well, I think I have an stack of Glenn Miller demo 78's from the late 30's and early 40's.

CALLER

What? I don't believe you, Mr. Mikkelsen.

MIKKELSEN

I don't care. It's the truth.

CALLER

Why aren't you selling some of that too? Chattanooga Choo-choo?! Come on!

MIKKELSEN

No. No Choo-choo. Only various takes of In the Mood and Moonlight Serenade. Maybe I will offer some of that stuff later. I thought this call was about the bunny rabbit toy.

CALLER

Is the acetate your ad speaks of one of those from the collection you have?

MIKKELSEN

No. A different stack. Little Orley Blues. Hugh really had something back then. It's in great shape, though. I think that the demo is in B-flat but the 78, when it was released, was in A. Buy the rabbit and the record is yours! Ya.

CALLER

About the Bunny Rabbit puppet, who originated the COA's? Keeshan?

MIKKELSEN

Brannum, I was told. He foresaw the time when people might question the origin of the puppet, I guess.

CALLER

What was the origin of the Bunny Rabbit puppet?

MIKKELSEN

Ya.

CALLER

No, where did the Bunny Rabbit puppet come from, Mr. Mikkelsen?

MIKKELSEN

Mr. Brannum. Ya.

CALLER

No, who actually made the puppet?

MIKKELSEN

Brannum's wife, Bunny.

CALLER

Wait, his wife was named Bunny?

MIKKELSEN

Ya. Wife.

CALLER

What a coincidence!

MIKKELSEN

I don't know.

CALLER

No, Mr. Mikkelsen, that was an exclamation: What a coincidence that Brannum's wife's name was Bunny and she made the Bunny Rabbit puppet.

MIKKELSEN

Ya, shore.

CALLER

Have you had any serious inquiries about the puppet yet?

MIKKELSEN

Ya. One woman was calling me a lot until she found out that the Mr. Moose puppet was not in the package. I never had the Moose puppet.

CALLER

So, she didn't care about the bunny puppet alone? You know, that reminds me of an old joke: There once was a - ah, never mind.

MIKKELSEN

Huh? No, bunny rabbit is no joke. It's real.

CALLER

Yeah.

MIKKELSEN

This puppet needs a home. To tell you the truth, it's tattered and I'm afraid that complete dry-rot may take hold soon. It would be a shame for the infamous Bunny Rabbit to essentially turn into dust because nobody would give him a good home.

CALLER

Aren't you trying to preserve it, yourself?

MIKKELSEN

I don't really care about the old American TV idols like others do.

CALLER

What the ... ? How dare you talk about the likes of Captain Kangaroo and/or his sidekicks so irreverently!

MIKKELSEN

Nobody said anything about Mr. Kangaroo. I've got the puppet right here. It will be declared officially dust soon. And about the Brannum record ... it may be valuable, but not so much to me. I'd prefer some Lolita memorabilia, even if she was only a stupid Austrian pop flash in the pan.

CALLER

Who?

 

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