JOHN CUTTER, CEO OF CUTTER AND CO ENTERTAINMENT CONCEPTS, IS PRESIDING OVER THE FINAL REVIEW OF HIS COMPANY'S COLLECTION OF POTENTIAL NEW TELEVISION SHOW CONCEPTS, BEING INTRODUCED TO THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Ok, Jones. Let's keep this thing rolling. Get the next slide up there.

Yes sir, Mr. Cutter. And let me please say that I believe this crop of pilot material will make you proud.

Well, I hope so. After that disaster last year, we need to hit a home run this time. I don't believe we can stand much more ridicule the likes of which was heaped upon us after the suggestion of a reality show about a convent front for a out-of-control termite extermination operation. Talk about a loser!

(beat)

First slide!

Yes sir! Ok, here's how we thought we'd organize this presentation. We start with the good, but not our most socko material first, and build to a climax with our best stuff.

We'll see.

(beat)

Jones, please put up the first concept slide.

JONES FIDDLES WITH THE MOUSE AND KEYBOARD TRYING TO GET THE SLIDE SHOW ROLLING. DON SMITH, A TEAM MEMBER TRIES TO HELP JONES.

I think you have the manual process started. Hit escape and the up-arrow key, then double click the icon in the left corner. Yeah.

(to Smith)

Thanks.

(to Cutter)

. OK, here we go.

I hope so!

JONES GETS THE FIRST SLIDE UP.

OK. The team wanted to include at least one game show concept this year. We thought there was just not enough on TV that deals with high school beauty contests. May I present, "Miss High School"!

(Jones goes to the next slide.)

The set is like a high school locker room, complete with dirty gym shoes, sweaty tee shirts and a pile of funky towels. The audience will experience high school, even if only through their virtual olfactory senses!

Moving on! ...

Yes sir. As I was saying, we recreate a high school atmosphere. The music starts and 8 cute chicks run on the stage and take their place amongst the stinking aforementioned locker room items, sitting, leaning or standing - it's their choice!

Are you for real? I hope it didn't take long to dream this up. Absolutely no locker room aromas or game shows.

(beat)

Next!

Yes sir. I believe Fishman will explain the next concept.

ROB FISHMAN HEADS TO THE LAPTOP TO GET TO THE NEXT SLIDE SET.

Thanks, Jones. Our subgroup felt that the very weak selection of dancing shows last year opened the door for our concept.

(Fishman jumps ahead to the next slide.)

This slide shows the quaint little town of Ragweed, TX, just outside Houston. As the intro credits roll on this pilot, the music is cranked up. Suddenly Archie Bell and the Drells appear out of a haze dancing to their own hit tune, There's Gonna be a Showdown, to introduce the "Ahhh Yeah Dance Showdown".

(beat)

Each week, some shmoe off the street, with or without any previous dancing experience, lured in by the possibility of winning some grand prize, is pitted against Mr. Bell in an ad hoc dance contest, usually, as his song says, on Market St., either on a sweltering Houston summer afternoon sidewalk or in the Sahara Dance Hall, whichever will be best per the time of year. Nobody ever will beat Mr. Bell, regardless of how good a dancer he/she is, so no prize will ever have to be awarded. The show is actually a means to receive phone calls from the viewership complaining about the continually repeated and annoyingly jive audio trademark phrase, "Ahhh Yeah", by Mr. Bell. Technology will enable accurate telecommunincation tracebacks to gather phone numbers, lists of which the network can sell to targeted buyers. Slick, huh? We see winner written all over this one. Ahhh yeah! and, I mean it!

So, this is not unlike those info-mercials that send out cheap mershandise for the overpriced S/H costs. I think I like it! But, is Archie Bell on board? We'll kind of need him, and the Drells. Are the Drells even still alive? By the way, what is a drell?

I believe a drell is just something Mr. Bell made up. To rhyme with his last name.

I see. Well, whatever.

As far as Mr. Bell being onboard, we really havent contacted him yet. Even if he refuses or is otherwise occupied and cannot participate, we've been grooming a stand-in or stand-ins for either Mr. Bell or the whole group. We found Bobby and Soul Workers a month or so ago. They can do Showdown and I Just Can't Stop Dancing almost exactly like Archie Bell. So, really, who needs the original group anyway?

Didn't Archie Bell do another tune ... let's see, what was that ...? ...

(from across the table)

Tighten Up!. I was wondering when that was going to come up. Fishman should have tightened up on his presentation, if you ask me.

(Fishman cuts Jones a cold stare.)

(happy that the question was resolved)

Right! Tighten Up!. Primo! Mark that concept down as top shelf. What's next?

JONES RETURNS TO INTRODUCE AND PRESENT THE NEXT CONCEPT.

Mr. Cutter, sir, I realize the Miss High School concept wasn't quite your cup of tea, but this one will blow your socks off!

What? More socks? I thought we were out of the gym?!

ALL OF CUTTER'S MEN PAUSE FOR A SYCOPHANTIC LAUGH.

Get on with it, Jones!

Yes sir! Right away, sir! What ever you want, sir!

Jones!!

This first slide is busy but I will try to lead you through it. Ready?

(feeling patronized)

JONES!!

This concept presents a rare gem: young adults who have red skin but who are not drunk, thinking about drinking or having just gotten over being sauced. Well, maybe those last two are a stretch. May I present, "Ug, Me Likem!", a show about the plight of the American Indian, as he/she faces the modern times. We see a Charles Bronson-ish lead as the chief, with numerous voluptuous squaws and GQ-type, shirtless and ripped braves all doing his bidding.

Bidding? ... Jones, I ask again: Are you for real?!

Sir?

Are you serious? This concept is worse than that one from last year we discussed. If you haven't got anything better to show me, you can go clean out your desk because you are fi-

Oh, sir! I do have something better - much better! I tried to tell Michaels that the Indian concept was a loser.

(quickly moves on)

Let me show you the sparkling diamond of a concept we came up with!

JONES IS PREEMPTING THE RAMP-UP PRESENTATION ORDER AND KILLING THE OTHER PRESENTERS' CHANCES TO IMPRESS THE BOSS.

Jones, I thought we all agreed that we were going to create a crescendo and save the best for last.

Yeah, Jones. Let's stick with the order we talked about. It's not our fault your ideas are so weak!

ALL OF THE MEN CHUCKLE, EVEN MR. CUTTER. JONES IS BOILING OVER INSIDE - AND EMBARRASSED.

Jones, I think that your fellow workers are correct. You keep presenting in the order you had agreed upon. We'll all know the good stuff when it hits us.

And I had nothing to do with the Indian nonsense. That was pure Jones.

I knew it! Now, please continue.

Very well. Here's the next concept. It's called, "The Three Pigs Entertainment". It's about a small-potatoes booking agency run by three vastly overweight men who secretly desire to have had the talent, themselves, to perform on stage. We've given them tentative names: Reebo, Middle Pig and Doc.

Hmmm. Interesting. But, we'll have to get other names. Continue.

Yes, well, the show is a series of cameos of former rock and soul music entertainers, doing the tunes that made them famous. The Three Pigs scheme to book such semi-washed-up acts in any venue that can cover their fees and support their, mainly eating and drinking, habits. We see an array of potential subplots involving the PigMobile, an Electra Duece-and-a-quarter, continually needing mechanical repair leading to an assortment of garage type hijinks.

Well, Jones. You may have just hit on someting this time. Do you see these Three Pigs as being sources of backstories, themselves?

Well, I mentioned the PigMobile in the shop. And there's the possibility of one or more of them being strained to the point of credibly having one or more of any number of weight-associated medical problems, each needing immediate attention.

I love it! Gentlemen, I think this is golden!

(turning to the others)

Well, Mr. Cutter, I am so glad you like the concept. I knew it had potential. Do you see us making suggestions at the conventiion for anyone in particular to play the Pigs?

Well, I would imagine a studio would prefer to go with regular actors in body suits in order to achieve the look of the immensely overweight Three Pigs.

Not necessarily.

Oh?